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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,944 Likes: 3 |
Funeral Notice
===============
It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following
news:
The Pillsbury Doughboy dies yesterday of a yeast infection and
trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects,
including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered
the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never
knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was
not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flakey at times he
was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for
millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John
Dough and Jane Dough, plus they have one in the oven. He is
also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Dec 2006
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Posts: 963
old hand
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old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
Buried in his loafers, no doubt. Popular, though frequently panned.
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Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210 |
I heard he had a Do Nut resuscitate order.
formerly known as etaoin...
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veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,554 |
Poor Doughboy, he can't win. If in Heaven he will only be half-baked, and if in Hell he will likely be overdone.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,944 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,944 Likes: 3 |
Hey!
All your replies are really terrific. I needed a good laugh.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Posts: 1,075
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075 |
Although Doughboy was not quite so well known in Europe, a memorial service was held in Madeira to commemorate his colourful life. It was attended by a number of fans, including Mr Kipling, Mother Pride and ( it is rumoured) the Bakewell Tart! – although the lady concerned may just have been a piece of local cheesecake just there to sponge of the fans at the meal that followed.
The officiating cleric gave an eulogy based on Leviticus 24:5 which went down very well. He also mention that Doughboy’s schemes had frequently been “knocked down” and declared to be bloomers, but he had often been proved and had risen nicely afterwards.
The food at the wake was rather disappointing, as the steak was a bit hard to choux.
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,944 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,944 Likes: 3 |
Lovely, simply, Rhuby.
ten cakes, or whatever, two ephahs apiece.
Last edited by LukeJavan8; 02/10/13 01:07 AM.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,944 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,944 Likes: 3 |
Reminds me of another years ago when Alka Seltzer stopped
using its icon "Speedy".(although he is back again, I see)
NOTICE:
Speedy Alka Seltzer has committed suicide. Unfortunately his
body could not be found; He simply jumped into a glass of
water and immediately effervesced. He did, however, leave
behind a suicide note, which read "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz,
Oh what a relief it is".
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Posts: 6
stranger
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stranger
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 6 |
He also discuss that Doughboy’s techniques had regularly been “knocked down” and announced to be bloomers, but he had often been shown and had increased perfectly afterwards.
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