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The novel is The Egg and I, by Betty Macdonald The synopsis: Betty’s new husband Bob has an epiphany and decides that it is his life’s calling to become a chicken farmer. In his epiphanial enthusiasm, Bob buys an abandoned farm in the wilds of Washington State, and proceeds to start a chicken ranch with all the knowledge and experience that city life has endowed him.The opening lines:A) When my husband Bob came home to tell me he was buying a chicken ranch in Washington, my first thought was, "Is it close enough to the White House to sell them eggs for the Easter Egg roll?" B) Now I can tell you with great certainty which came first, it was the egg. C) As the first glimpse of morning enveloped the eastern horizon Betty realized being already awake meant that autumn in New York would be soon upon them. D) When I vowed to love, honor and obey my husband, little did I know that this meant that one day, I’d be getting up at the crack of dawn to look at the tail-end of a chicken. E) Along with teaching us that lamb must be cooked with garlic and that a lady never scratches her head or spits, my mother taught my sisters and me that it is a wife’s duty to see that her husband is happy in his work. F) I remember it was the hottest day of the year so far, and when Bob was late that Friday I just knew right away something was up – he was always early on Fridays, but he breezed in over an hour late with a strange little breathy whistle and a fixed look of concentration crinkling his brow. G) It seemed reasonable to Bob that high egg counts would be ensured by equipping each laying hen with her own rooster. H) "You never can tell what's gonna happen in this life", my Mama always said--and she sure was right. I) I was never really rural by nature, but mamma raised a few hens in her day. J) Bob had done his research and had settled on the Rhode Island Red, which, he had learned, was a robust breed, excellent for egg-production, and yet also suitable for meat, and best of all, he liked the sound of it. K) At age plump six I marched home from an important tea party given by my dear friend Victoria Willington who was eight and lived up the hill in a big brownstone with an English garden and a pool; and with a jaunty toss of my golden locks I declared to my startled father and mother that I was and always had been a plutocrat and demanded to know why they had been keeping me captive and just what in Jumping Jesus had they done with my real parents? L) When my newly married socialite mother went with Daddy to his new engineering job in Telluride, she was unaware that she had started not only a baby, but a family tradition as well. M) The bag of feed corn was getting lighter every day. N) If I ever thought the phrase "eggs over easy" was a contradiction in terms it wasn't during my days as a waitress at the Third St. Cafe. O) The notion of becoming chicken farmers really did seem like a bad idea at the time. P) Chickens we bought in the grocery store –- already plucked, and if you cajoled the butcher, split into parts. What say you? P.S. I am not naming those who submitted opening lines. Through some power that amazes me, some of you can figure out who wrote things by the tone of the writing so I'm giving you no extra hints by giving the names.  EDIT: Ooops. Forgot to say...polls will be open until Sunday, April 9th.
Last edited by belMarduk; 04/08/2006 6:49 PM.
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veteran
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B) Now I can tell you with great certainty which came first, it was the egg. That's it! Close the polls, pull down the blinds, and cry in your beer. While most of the opening lines submitted here are of high merit (including mine) only the real opening sentence "B" quickly establishes a conflict between the writer and the story line that could sustain ample reader interest for a situation comedy of 250 pages. "B" ! 
Last edited by themilum; 04/02/2006 2:51 PM.
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Carpal Tunnel
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formerly known as etaoin...
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You know, I read this book many many years ago, and cannot remember a thing about it. Bennett Cerf, in one of his collections of jokes, maintains that the MacDonalds' friends all suggested names for their new animals, like Chickov, Pullet Goddard, and Himalaya. Some others too, but I can't remember them at this point and can't be arsed to go look.
But that's not what I came here to write about. I came here to write about my vote. There are some pretty good entries here, with one sort of noticeable exception, and I am almost convinced to vote for A because I seem to recall that Betty indeed did not know exactly where Washington was. But I am vacillating among B, H, and P, all of which are compelling for various reasons.
(and dozens of people are out there as they read, saying to themselves, "Get to the point, windbag.") I'd have voted for B if it didn't already have one vote, so it's down to H and P. And I got burned by taking a P the last time out so I am gonna say what the H.
TEd
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Pooh-Bah
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And I read a review of it, and it sounded awfully funny. I probably wrote a reminder to myself to pick it up, and that is probably still buried on my desk. However, I thought the book was Dead Souls, and I was prepared to vote several times for the entry of my choice. I am mortified.
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Still trying to hex etaoin, I'm going to vote D
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Does "Dead Souls" have anything to do with chickens?
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Pooh-Bah
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Dead souls gotta eat, don't they?
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Pooh-Bah
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To B or not to B? I am torn, but
I'll
B
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Pooh-Bah
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I'll B too. Because I like it.
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to me, B makes absolutely no sense in the context of a book about taking up chicken farming; I mean who would do such a thing by starting with the eggs?
following that same line of thought I'm going to go with C, because it's got *nothing* to do with taking up chicken farming.
Last edited by tsuwm; 04/03/2006 2:50 AM.
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We're on vacation and we're in Washington State. Do you suppose that creates an unfair advantage? I like both A and H but, being required to settle for just one, I'll try H.
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Pooh-Bah
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Quote:
to me, B makes absolutely no sense in the context of a book about taking up chicken farming; I mean who would do such a thing by starting with the eggs?
following that same line of thought I'm going to go with C, because it's got *nothing* to do with taking up chicken farming.
lol
***
But the sentence contains too much information for me to believe it: autumn and New York, and sounds like the Yip Harburg song. Needless to say, though, I don't believe any of them is the real opener.
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stranger
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I vote E.. was hard choosingness though.
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Carpal Tunnel
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I'm going for E, too, and for the same reasons tsuwm chose C.
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Quote:
I'm going for E, too, and for the same reasons tsuwm chose C.
I can see that now; but ballot-splitting (or vote-switching) has been outlawed, so...
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Carpal Tunnel
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>>>Needless to say, though, I don't believe any of them is the real opener. Well one of them is, mon chou. I'm just not telling which. 
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Pooh-Bah
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I'm torn between J, E and B. Hmm.
I think I'll take a jab at B. If it's not the real one then it is at least the wittiest. Of course sometimes people vote for their own contribution to sway others...
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addict
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enthusiast
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A
Yeah, it's a couple of miles to the east, adjacent to the National Arboretum.
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Many of them are good, and believable; a couple I cast out right away because of punctuation problems; I finally settled on D.
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I'm taking F because it seems to be the most detached from the subject matter, and why would you contrive something totally unrelated?...and it seems to set a more humorous, colloquial tone to the tome, which is what I envisioned it to be. And, no, it's not my own sentence that I'm lobbying for...or is it?
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Another day passes and no more votes. What is it with these people that they wait to the last minute before casting their votes? Maybe they just got confused like Alex Williams did and sent their votes to the Hogwash Hogmaster. Boy, that would delay endgame for a while. Yeah, what we need is a special name for the Fibliotheque Quizmaster. Hmm... How about Fibliotheque-er ? Or if the quizmaster happens to be female; Fibliothequeen. Pretty good, huh?
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Or maybe a simple Lie-brarian.
TEd
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Quote:
Maybe they just got confused like Alex Williams did and sent their votes to the Hogwash Hogmaster.
First off please just call me Alex. Either that or Lord Badass. Either is fine. Secondly, as to submitting to the "hogmaster," you are confusing "confusion" with metonymy (substitution of one word for another which it suggests). While the game in progress in not a round of hogwash, it takes the place of hogwash, the current game having been suggested in lieu of hogwash rather than in addition to it. Therefore one should understand "hogmaster" to mean the master of games, so to speak, regardless of whether or not the game is hogwash, or pick-the-nit, or what-have-you.
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I understood the name was to be Fibliotechnician. But that's just me.
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Pooh-Bah
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Quote:
I understood the name was to be Fibliotechnician. But that's just me.
you missed my point I think.
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I got your point! I was responding to milum, but botched it up. 
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Pooh-Bah
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Perhaps I should address the person in charge of the ongoing game as one of the Knights-Who-Until-Very-Recently-Said "Ni!" nah...
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newbie
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I came to the same conclusions as you TEd. B,H, and P, though not for eggsactly the same reasons. B almost sounds too believable and besides, I'm not a big fan of eggs Benedict. I don't care for Poached eggs, and I do like my eggs over-Hard.
H for me too.
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I love the variety of razors being applied to this eggsercise! This round is quite tricksy... but I will eventually go for the easy answer.
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Waiting on just two more people and then I'll post results.
I've sent off a p.m. to each to see if they want to participate.
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Plus, anybody who didn't send in a line but still wants to vote, ¿mais non? [sic]
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Already taken care, of ma choupette. I had also sent off P.M.s to the regular posters that didn't submit a line this time.
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Pooh-Bah
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ma choupette<<
My chewy? My gummi? My kiss?
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Quote:
ma choupette<<
My chewy? My gummi? My kiss?
My little cabbage.
Hmmm, terms of affection don't translate very nicely, do they.
==============================================
BEE-BOOP, BEE-BOOP. This is not a test. BEE-BOOP, BEE-BOOP, BEE-BOOP.
Last chance folks, polls close tomorrow.
EDIT: Emergency Fibliotheque last-call broadcast.
Last edited by belMarduk; 04/07/2006 6:56 PM.
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