Here's the version E-mailed to me ( [with some editorial observations])

NOT TO BE OUTDONE BY EBONICS IN CALIFORNIA, THE SOUTHERN ASSOCIATION OF COLLEGES AND SCHOOLS IS REQUESTING BILLIONS OF FEDERAL DOLLARS TO TEACH Y'ALLBONICS IN ALL CLASSROOMS SOUTH OF THE MASON-DIXON LINE.

INCLUDED HERE ARE SOME SAMPLES OF Y'ALLBONICS. IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND ANY OF THEM, CONTACT YOUR LOCAL BUBBA FOR AN EXPLANATION....

HEIDI - (noun[? -ed.]) Greeting.

AX - (verb) "Don't ax me, I donno"

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol[ol? -ed.] is Lanner.
Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol [idem - ed.] is Berminhayum.
Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a coke."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I leff my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, sure hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Pars sometime."

RETARD -(verb)- To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh beehins."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
Different from the singular RAT - (adverb) "Gerald, you get yo ass home rat now"

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer." Hi WW!!


FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas; Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. \
Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit n'is laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"

~~~
bless our collective lil Southern hearts.