I don't go in for the huggie-feely stuff either, although it doesn't bother me most of the time. Nor do I feel that it necessarily detracts from the conversation. (Of course I do not mean to imply that you shouldn't feel the way you do.) Instead I just respond to the parts of a post that interest me and ignore the parts that grate or hold nothing for me.

Chats, whether moderated or not, are much like conversations, because they are a kind of conversation, similar to conversations that take place in a bar where people come in and out at leisure and join and leave conversations. Some people are rude, some are out to sell something, some are looking for free online therapy.

Having said all this, one place I've enjoyed hanging out in the past was on the undernet irc chatroom #mensa (no connection with the organization other than a few of the channel's founders were members). It's moderated (sometimes) and imperfect, but it's okay. There's a breakaway channel called #mensans which I have never entered, but is probably comparable. (Wild guess.) There are loads of other channels.

To use this, you'll need Mirc software. (There may be ways to do it over the web, but I assume you'd just as soon not.) If you're on AOL, you'll need the 16 bit version of the s/w even if you have a 32 bit machine. Just do a google search.


Diversion:
There are a *LOT* of boneheads on the internet. There's no way I'm going to let any of them stop me from going where I want, reading what I want to read, and saying what I want to say. This place has been my home for 20 years or more. This is not advice. It's not a recommendation. It's not a request. I'm just stating my philosophy - a philosophy with tenets I have failed miserably to uphold on far too numerous occasions, but which I nevertheless still believe to be essentially correct: Emulate the behavior you want to see. If you're the only one, behave how you want others to behave.

Six or 8 years ago, there was a query on maybe alt.culture.internet (or something like that). I was a regular lurker there, but not a regular poster. The writing was very clear (regarding the future of the internet). The Internet was expanding and there were all these kids coming on and making a mess of things, acting like punks and just generally being jackasses. There were people who thought there needed to be some age limitations for who could get on the net. (No idea how they thought they would enforce this.) I don't recall my exact words, but my general response was this. We don't have to worry about them. We only have to worry about us. Those young kids are going to see us already here and they're going to copy whatever we do, amplify it a hundred times, and throw it back in our faces. If we're patient and humble and easygoing, then things will only improve. If we act like morons, these new kids will be unbearable. And what has happened is a little of both (well, maybe a little more stupidity and nastiness than intelligence and nobility, but that's just a reflection of the world outside the net). Even then, though, the trouble wasn't young punks, but just plain old ordinary boorish people.

I know that if I'm waiting for perfection, it will be a long, long sojourn. I don't have high expectations. I don't expect everyone to like me or to get my jokes or be interested in anything I have to say. I don't expect it's everyone else's job to entertain me or keep me amused. I don't expect to be involved in every topic that arises. I'm must hanging out and if I happen to meet some cool people along the way, swap some memes, and share what passes for a sidewalk in these parts, well, that would be great. Meanwhile - I'm here anyway. This is my home.

Please excuse the mess,

k