You might feel humiliated. But no one can humilate you.

You are responsible not only for you actions, but for your feelings. Ask youself "why do i feel this way?" If you answer is to blame some one else, ask again, and again.

If you don't want to feel humiliated don't. If you think you have reason to take pride in your action here, take pride. Your feelings are yours to control, they are valid, and do not have be justifed to others. But they are your's you control them. not me, not anyone here. You can't blame us for how you feel. I can't make you feel shame or guilt, or humiliated. Ican't control you, your behavior or your feelings. Please don't try to blame me for how you feel.

If you think your action here have been underhanded, and have contributed to problems, ask you self Why did i act that way? What compelled me to lie? Why did I act in a way I can't take pride in? Was it that you were brow beaten? and to be honest, you must also ask yourself, why do i let myself be brow beaten? Why do i feel i have to do as others want?

If you can't answer these question, maybe you see someone who is trained to help people understand their own behaviors. There are groups, like AA, only they are for abused women, , and may companies offer free services. As a Professor of NURSING, you should be aware of the social services available at your University, at local hospitals and other places. Make use of them.

You seem to be a smart capable woman. Act like one.