Another popular real estate euphemism: "a fixer-upper"
There are endless euphemisms for genitalia and for the sexual act, too (I notice most posting here have been too delicate to bring these up - of course I feel no such scruples, but y'all knew that already and I might as well go ahead, being in hot water already as I am, an' all, an' all). My fave listing of the male genitalia's euphemisms (and yet, only some of them - there are LOTS) is Monty Python's The Penis Song (Not the Noel Coward Song):
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick!
So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your Percy or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't come back. (thank you very much)
(Personally, if I had one of my own, that's what I'd do with it - wrap it up in ribbons and slip it in my sock. Man, I'd just stay home and play with it all day. How do men ever get anything done?!)
Female-genitalia-wise, I just have a li'l story: I was in the "comfort station" (this is, after all, a thread about euphemisms!) of a campground in Broome, Western Australia, when I met a fellow Canuck who was on tour with the same company I was travelling with, but going in the opposite direction. We got chatting about the people on our buses and how congenial they were, and she told me they had a young Korean girl on their bus who got drunk very quickly and easily and always got loud and amusing when inebriated. "The other day," she said, "she was asking us to tell her all the English slang for vagina....We came up with quite a list." I said, "I hope you remembered the good ol' Canadian one," and she said, "Yes, the c-word came up." I said, "No, I meant BEAVER!" and she was extremely aghast to realise that she had missed that one. Huh. And she called herself a Canadian.
As far as euphemisms for sex go, my personal favourite is good ol' Shakes's contribution: making the beast with two backs.
