This will be totally unintelligible to some of you, I'm sure ... It would also work with Englishmen and Welshmen!

A New Zealand ventroloquist is visiting Australia. While he's visiting a small town, he sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'Day Mate! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?"

Aussie: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi."

Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"

Dog: "I'm Doin' all right."

Aussie: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this Aussie your owner?" (pointing at Aussie).

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good mate - he walks me twice a day, feeds me great tucker and takes me to the lake once a week to play"

Aussie: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Aussie: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either ....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool."

Aussie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at Aussie)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regular, brushes me down often and keeps me in a barn to protect me from the rain."

Aussie: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Aussie: "The sheep's a f*****g liar!"


The idiot also known as Capfka ...