Not to be read by the terminally-serious supporter of any particular politician
I was reading a New Zealand Listener (weekly news and TV guide in Zild) from December 29 2001 today. It reviewed the year both nationally and internationally and gave snippets of some of the stranger goings-on in the world. And commented on some of the strange people behind them, too. Most of the national stuff would go right over your heads, NZ politics not be the hottest topic on Earth. But some of the international items bear repeating.
FWIW, the Listener is respected as being as truthful as possible. Not the News of the World or Private Eye genre.
There goes the African vote "What the hell would I want to go to a place like Mombasa for?" Toronto mayor Mel Lastman mused to reporters, just before travelling to a meeting in Kenya to pitch for his city to be the venue for the 2008 Summer Olympics. "I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me."
Too Much Television Can Be A Bad Thing Christopher Bishop of Muncie, Indiana scrawled "You are the weakest link, goodbye!" on a note attached to a bomb that he then posted to his wife Tracy - who survived the blast.
This Is A Black Helicopter-Free Zone Councillors in La Verkin, Utah, have noted to prohibit the town from recognising any United Nations activities and have ordered any citizen who does so to notify the council in writing and place a sign on his or her lawn warning neighbours of their support for the UN.
Dope buys Dope When Rosie Lee Hill paid good money for two rocks of cocaine she went to police in Pensacola, Florida, to complain that she'd been ripped off and sold baking soda instead. Police tested the evidence. No, it really was cocaine, so they arrested Hill for possession.
Ocker Shocker According the Sun an English hospital patient fainted on being told that she was about to be discharged. Apparently, she though her Australian nurse had said, "We are sending you home to die."
And When You Do, You Will When US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was asked by White House reporters about progress on catching Osama bin Laden, he replied: "Until you have him, you do not have him."
The Untouchables confront the Unmentionables In July, legislators in Colorado passed House Bill number 01-1221 into law, thus making it illegal for any resident of Colorado to wear aluminium underpants. Shoplifters had been using them to foil electronic alarm systems. The law allows an exception for those who can prove they wear aluminium underwear for "personal reasons".
Yeah, right Thai Interior Minister Purachai Piumsombun has defended his plan to close down Bangkok's notorious girlie bars early at night on the grounds that tourists don't like that sort of stuff anyway. "Tourists are here because they want to see natural beauty. They don't want to see exotic dancers or take drugs."
You Left "Phony" and "Execution-Happy" Off the List A senior Bush administration official defined the agenda for the President's European visit in June: "The common European perception is of a shallow, arrogant, gun-loving, abortion-hating, Christian-fundamentalist Texas buffoon. We need to get it all on a higher plane."
Oh, well ...
OP
