In reply to:

and is there a term for cousin not in the same gereration?

my father's family is 'fractured'


I think saudara/i would be used for people who are more or less your own age, and for much older cousins you would use om or tante, but that's just a feeling. It's as much a question of etiquette as language and quite possibly varies from ethnic group to ethnic group.

Bingley



Bingley