Jazz, ambivalence is a very strong feeling. all of the play "Hamlet" is about his strong feelings, and unsureness of what to do.
don't think they don't care. if war is declared, it will be you and your school mates that this nation calls on to wage the battle. that is a serious thought to contemplate.

there is no right or wrong way to react to what has happened, each of us, takes our experience, and distils through the filter of our lives.

Monday, i was late getting to work, and on the commuter rail, sat next to two young girls who had just started HS at NY Stuyvesant HS-- which is just about 0.5 miles from the WTC, actually built on the landfill from the excavation for the towers. It has a clearer view of WTC than i did.

our train was delayed, and they got edgy, and i remember telling them, Monday morning, "it's always something, if you are going to do this,(commute) you'll have to learn, there is always a problem." i was lighthearted, and telling the truth, at the same time.

all day yesterday i thought of them. their schedule was such, that they would have been emerging from the subway, a few blocks north, just as the second tower was hit. their route wouldn't have taken them near enough to the towers to be in danger, but they, like me, would have been near enough to see those who fell or jumped.

Monday, they were unprepared for a 5 minute delay on the RR, tuesday, they would have seen a horror. i worry about them. they had trouble coping with a 5 minute delay.


my other obsession