Spit in my face, you femmes, and peerce my side,
Buffet and scoff, scourge and crucifie mee...
Keeping in mind the observation of a later poet about fools rushing in, and without admitting that I have sinn'd and sinn'd, I venture to point out that y'all have been jumping on me for more than I really said.
I certainly didn't say, or believe, that a woman can't be good looking and smart at the same time, O beloved of Jove. Moreover, your comment seems to contain the hidden premise that all women with large breasts are good looking, which I deny. I have eaten in a Hooters more than once (not by my choice), and can tell you that some of the waitresses look more like cows than beauty queens, mainly because of their excessive mammary development (or, possibly, augmentation). Also, while there, I have seen no young women who seemed to be PhD candidates.
In general, the rest of the blasts seem to be saying pretty much the same thing: that just because a young woman takes a waitress job at Hooters, there should be no presumption that she's under genius-level IQ, and only an unregenerate MCP would imply such a notion.
Let's look at this more closely. [Counsel for the defence rises, pushes his wig back off his low brow.] If it please your Ladyships, may I ask you and the jury to consider these points and answer some questions in your own minds:
1. Whom does Hooters hire as waitresses? (We may dispense with the PC term "waitpersons" or other espressions of that ilk, since, to my knowledge, they hire only females for this job.)
2. Assuming they were alive, available, able-bodied and experienced at waiting tables, would Hooters hire Jackie Onassis, the president of Brown University (I forget her name), Helen Gurley Brown, or Katherine Graham?
3. For that matter, would they hire some of the veteran waitresses, who have been waiting tables for years at any of a number of other eating establishments, who resemble somebody's mother?
4. If a young woman had the background or the education of the women mentioned above, and even if she did have bodacious tatas, would she want to work at Hooters?
5. Given what Hooters pays waitresses (diddly-squat, like most restaurants, making tips the waitress's main source of income), would not a young woman as well-endowed intellectually as she would have to be physically be able to do better at some other job where she can use her intellectual qualifications?
6. I believe we may take it as stipulated that Hooters, while ostensibly an equal-opportunity employer, does not hire anyone as a waitress except good looking and well-endowed young women. I submit to your ladyships that if you have given dispassionate consideration to the questions submitted, you will conclude with me that young women with smarts, education, or what is generally considered good background or bringing up, will regard employment at Hooters as either distasteful, immoral perhaps, or insufficiently remunerative considering that they can almost certainly do better elsewhere. And this even if they did happen to possess the Hooters desiderata. So whom does that leave in the pool of possibilities for employment at Hooters?
M'ladies, the defence rests.
[Doffing wig and gown and putting on hardhat and asbestos suit]
