Well, tsuwm, now you've done it. I've no choice but to tell one of my Pope jokes. It's no shaggy dog, but it's what I've got.


An executive at a major advertising agency learns that they've just lost a couple of huge accounts, and decides that some serious innovation is called for to keep his firm from completely hitting the skids. They've got an opportunity to come up with a new campaign for the world dairy industry, and he knows they've got to get it if the firm's going to stay afloat. The exec thinks and thinks, and, in the end, comes up with a brilliant plan.

He approaches the firm's board of directors, and says "I've got a phenomenal idea. I need you to give me a million dollars, and I promise you'll be thrilled with the results." The board members hesitate, but they know this guy's track record and decide to give him a shot at it.

Next, the exec gets an audience with the Pope. He enters into His presence and says "Holy Father, I have a proposition to make you." "Yes, my son, what is it?" replies his Eminence. The exec can tell he's onto something good, and says "I've got a million dollars, which I will give you in exchange for granting me one small request. I want you to change the words to the Lord's Prayer to 'give us this day our daily milk."

The Pope pauses, and then replies "You want me to take a million dollars and change the words to this, the most fundamental prayer of an ancient faith? Oh, my son, I am sorry, but such an act would be out of the question."

The exec, disappointed, leaves Rome and goes back to his board: "Well, it didn't quite work out. It turns out I aimed too low. I need to ask you for 10 million dollars, and I promise I can bring home the milk account." The board debates the request for some time, and in the end grants him the money.

Back at the Vatican, the ad man arranges another audience with the Pope, and makes his offer: "I'll give you 10 million dollars if you will only change that single word of the Lord's Prayer." Once again, the Holy Father, with a sad look in his eye, replies that he cannot: "To take your $10 million, and make a change that might so profoundly affect the lives of the faithful - I cannot do it, my son."

Discouraged, but determined, the exec goes back to his board, this time asking for $100 million dollars. There is great debate amongst the board members, but the exec argues long and hard with them and, at last, they grant his request.

He returns once again to Rome, offering the Pope 100 million dollars if He'll change the words to the Lord's Prayer to "give us this day our daily milk." The Pope ponders this request, sitting in silence, clearly seeking counsel of His Boss. After a long silence he says "My son, you've got a deal."

Elated, the exec hurries away from the Vatican, confident that upon his return the board of directors will give him an enormous bonus, and that his company will be guaranteed to get the big milk account.

With the audience at an end, the Pope calls together the Council of Cardinals. Once they are all assembled, he tells them "I've got some good news, and I've got some bad news. The good news is, we've got 100 million dollars. The bad news is - we lost the Wonder Bread account."