The Archimandrite of Linguistics (currently the Most Ven. Anu Garg) solemnly reads out a list of the new Poohbah's postings, after which a trumpet fanfare is blown to wake up the audience.

Oh, Bob! This made me laugh out loud! (I've not had a great deal of time to be here so far this week, and didn't realize I'd let Miscellany go since Monday. Trying to catch up, now.) But you got it all right but the snake oil.
Our oldest-I-mean-grandest Pooh-Bah found out it tastes terrible, so we did away with anointing the lips.

Max: just what do you mean, I spell thangs funny??