In one NH town, Louisa Woodman, a professional woman and staunch believer in women's rights, was the first woman elected chairman of the Planning Board. The Vice-Chair of the Board asked if she wanted to be addressed as Chairman or Chairperson.
She replied : "Chairman is fine, thank you, I have no intention of changing my name to Woodperson."
Now, personally, I have no objection to "Ladies" in situations where, for example, a Maitre d' is gesturing a group of women to a table. Ladies and Gentlemen is fine as a general address to a group.
I think a lot of it has to do with age. If a man in his 70s or over uses girls or ladies, it doesn't seem as offensive as when a younger man treats women as "girls" ... A friend and I were attending a formal dinner for a professional organization and one man at the table asked us : "What do you girls do?"
(Good thing I didn't have a pie to hand.)
Overall, some things like "cleaning lady" are so ingrained that it will take awhile - and an imaginative mind - to think of a phrase to replace it, others like "actor" for both male and female will be changed because those in the profession will keep using the term they prefer until it is part of the language.
