newcomers tie their small painter up to a stanchion and debark for lunch and a few drinks ... while the tide goes out ... and return to find their boat high and dry, hanging alongside the stanchion and not a prayer of going anywhere until the tide comes in again.

If they're tying their clove hitches as tight as this, the reverse must happen as well no? A nice tight knot, so the little craft'll no' be lost when tha' great taid comes in - and when it does, that selfsame knot keeps the dinghy littly thing underwater. There's a particular knot recommended for such a situation, which'll slide up and down but not untie, but I can't recall what it is (I've a knot fixation, but it appears to have come unfixed at the moment). As you point out, however, cutting themselves some slack would do the trick as well.