] And B-2, if I were to marry someone on the strength of a well-written love letter, AND the marriage succeeded, I would be applauding the operation of pure chance in my favour!

perhaps i should rephrase myself. i wasn't suggesting that a relationship could or should be predicated upon a single well-written love letter; you are discounting the fact that the two persons in question had (am i incorrectly presuming that this was a mutual attraction?) already established a rapport. i'm commenting more on the fact that--having developed an in-person affection for each other--societal tradition caused them to take the relationship first to an intellectual level before proceeding with social interaction.

and david [what's a better word for "cultivation?"]: perhaps "refinement"?

~b