I have translated the words I knew [from memory] [updated from looking at my 5 shilling (!) Guide to Cockney] and thought you might not! I don't know all the rhyming pairs and some may not have any. In general but not common English usage, as far as I am aware, Karsi, Adam's Ale, Shank's Pony, Arrows, Geordie, Brummie, Scouser, Pony, nicked, Butcher's,
I was in the Karsi [toilet], sitting on me Kyber [-pass=arse], using the grey matter, when I thought, wouldn't it be nice if me Dutch [(prob.)-ess of Fife =wife] made some Rosy [-lee=tea]. She got some fresh Adam's [-Ants=pants or Adam's Ale=water] there. So I went down the Apples [and pears=stairs] and told her. We could go up to the Rubba [-DubDub=Pub]. Me in me best Whistle [and Flute=suit] and Titfer [-tat=hat] and me new Daisy's [-roots=boots], and her in her best bib and tucker with her new Tile[should know can't remember]. It's a long Frog[and taod=road] but we'd do it O.K. on Shank's Pony[own legs]. That's if our Plates [of meat=feet] last out. Probably see a couple of me Chinas[Plates=mates] there with the Arrows[=darts] and a Pig[-'s ear=Beer] or two. One's a Brummie [from Birmingham], one's a Scouse [Liverpool]. He might have his Geordie [Newcastle] mate with him too.[Editor's note: they would need a 4-way translator!!] Could see another China of the way, he's a Septic [-tank=yank] [ed; Sorry -5] but not a bad bloke. Likes to knock you a bit though. If I see the Runner [for a bookie], I'll probably put a Pony [25 pounds] on a Nag [horse], but if there is a Peeler [Robert Peel home secretary when policeman started] about, he'll probably have it on his toes. If he gets Nicked [arrested] he'll be Banged up for a full moon. I'll ask for a Butcher's [-hook=look] at the form if he's on his Jack [Todd=alone I'll find out why]. If I win I'll get a Lardy {-dah=cigar] and some snout[tobacco] for her. She's a bit Mutton[prob. Mutt'n'Jeff=Deaf which I discarded earlier but can't find anything else] at the moment but you should see the Minces[-Pies=eyes] in her Boat[-race=face. Ok so Oxford was robbed] and her Barnet[-Fair=Hair] is a joy to behold. Won't even mention her North and South [actually Norf'n'Sarf=mouth. Ooright guvn'r "marf"]. Lovely as ever.
[And no I didn't try Enigma!]
Rod Ward
