Howye fokes! How is things? I’m not codden ya, but after 40 days and 40 nights a total abstinince it’s just grate ta be back on the carbon again – us Teds gave it up fer the Lent, ya know. We’re fierce delighted with ourselves fer sure and just can’t wait fer ta get our carbon footprints re-measured so that we can see how much carbon credits we’ve saved up. Not ta mention the amount a sin and guilt we’ve saved ourselves, and we’ve no dout that after this mighty feet a self-denial and sufferen, we’ll be goen straight in ta heaven fer sure when it’s our turn fer ta kick the bucket.

Anyways, we was all beyont in Slasher’s jint celebraten our immaculate virtousness and talken religiously about all things holy when Mr Slasher began tellen us about the sale of indulginces what used ta happen back in the olden days. Ya see, the rich peeple didn’t have ta make any sacrifices or do any penince fer their sins or nothin cos all they had ta do was ta pay a few bob ta Them-What-Were-In-Charge, and then get a receipt fer ta take with them ta heaven when they passed over. I’m not sure meself weather ya was supposed ta write the cheque out ta St Peter or ta God Himself, but suffice ta say it sounded a bit of a ominous system alltagather and after a moments silence we decided ta reflect on this pint fer a while.

Then, after given thanks and praise that the likes a that doesn’t be happenen in this day and age, we settled down ta discuss the main business a the night – weather we’d sell off our saved up carbon credits ta the highest bidder or weather we’d put them towards a long haul flight ta Vegas or somewhere. A course, if we chose the second option then we’d probably have ta pay a big huge pile a carbon tax fer our sins – and whereas we’re all in favour a throwen money at problems fer ta make them go away, we wasn’t sure weather ta write the cheque out ta Mammy Nature or Mammy Earth. Either way, I’m sure both a them could use the money fer ta get a new frock or a new hair-do or somethin, but in the end we decided on the furst option. Apply within if yer interested.

Be seein ya

GallantTed