Howye fokes! How is things? Isn’t that global warmen lark just terrable alltagather? We’re all goen ta fry, I'll tell ya. Ya see, the temperature is risen cos a alla them greenhouse gasses, and there’s a big huge hole in the ozone layer, and soon the earth will be roasten alltagather and the seas will be risen and we’re all goen ta be drownded in our beds.

And the worst thing is that fer years everyone blamed the carbon dioxide emmissions from alla them big huge cars fer the catastrafee. But the grate news, brought ta ya exclusively by Ted, is that ya can hould onta yer SUV Missus, cos all along it was the cows what was doen the damage. Ya see, methane is one a the main greenhouse gasses, and after a good feed a the grass doesn’t the cattle beyont in the field be emmitten fierce amounts a this silent but violint gas in ta the unsuspecten atmosphere. And then, alla this wind gets trapped inta the stratasphere and it gets fierce windy alltagather and storms do be bellowen up all over the place. Or somethin like that.

Anyways, the bottom line is that as worldly citizins of Mammy Earth, we’re all goen ta have ta think offa a way ta get them cows ta change their diets. Chicken nuggets might be an option, but with the loomen threat a the bird flu and and the fact that some a them bovine types are fierce fussy eaters alltagather, this may not be the best solution. Ya could always insist that they take a couple a antiacid tablets after each grassy meal, but as the have four stomachs a piece this might prove ta be fierce costly alltagather. And besides, I know meself that some cows don’t like ta be doen the drugs.

A course, I meself think the best option is ta make good use a alla them idle bull bars on yer four wheel drives and just go in and plough the lot a them mooey windbags away. Then ya’d really be doen somethin ta help the enviromint.

Be seein ya

GallantTed