Depends who you're writing for, I guess. I think if you'd cut the last line of the first paragraph, "Ya see, that's how high-browingly confusen it is and it'll blow the mind outa ya fer sure," you might not have cued them in to the high brow klamotel. You might consider avoiding remarks like that in future. I think it's a funny piece; the main "difficulty" is the "dialect." But since they probably knew the style when they hired you on, well, to paraphrase Alice in "...Doesn't Live Here Anymore," "Anyone who doesn't like it, can blow it out their arse."