Howye fokes

Haven't been around fer a while but I do be comen in ta read ye everynow and then. I'm fierce busy, ya see, now that I have me own weekly collem ta be writen fer a local paper. Please, please - don't get up and there's no need fer all that rapturous applause or nothin.

Anyways, as I always considered ye all hear a fierce intellectual bunch alltagather, I need ta get yer oponion on somethin what I wrote. Ya see, me human pals hear on the ground say that me writens is too high brow and that nobody understands them. Because of this, I'm beginnen ta stop believen meself fer sure. Please, please put them hankies away, there's no need fer tears.

I'd be fierce gratefull alltagather if a few of ye could read the followen and tell me if ye understand its gist and all its referances and give me a bitta feedback and all that sorta stuff. I know fer sure that if anyone's up ya the job, ye'll be. Thanken ye in advance.
THE ARTICLE IN QUESTION READS:

Howye fokes

How is things? Twas the besta times, twas the worsta times, fer sure (Charles Darwin robbed that one from one of me Fourbears, ya know). Well, the good news is that me intellictual pal, Albear Camoo, finally got his novel "Nothing Between the Covers" published. And no, it's not about Goldilock's love life neither. It's a fiercely fillysofical critteek on what is stuff, what is not stuff, what may or may not be stuff and all that sorta stuff. It's gotten rave reviews alltagather and take it from me, ya won't have red anythin til ya've red everythin in this grate book about nothin - or somethin like that. Or should that be nothin like that? Ya see, that's how high-browingly confusen it is and it'll blow the mind outa ya fer sure.

The bad news is that MadDogTed is back in the Borstal fer Bold Bears. Ya see, inspired Albear's success, he taught he'd try his own paw at the readen and the writen. He herd that there was a Massive Book Sale in the local library (a grate jint fer sure) and sorta "borrowed" a trook fer ta take the big huge book home in. The only thing was, the trook what he robbed was the travellen library and he was caught red-pawed throwen out all the small books fer ta make room fer the massive book what was fer sale. The judge was reel mad at him alltagather and totally red him from a height. Now he thinks he's a published Ted too.

Next week: a review on Goldilocks's autobigrafical attempt at a novel "Nothin Between the Ears"

Be seein ya

GallantTed