Updated 11:11 AM ET December 7, 2000

LONDON (Reuters) - The Plain English Campaign on Wednesday named a record 11 gobbledygook winners -- from the Ministry of Defense to an Internet provider -- who mangled their mother tongue and left readers utterly confused.

The independent organization, which tries to cut through a forest of verbiage, pointed the finger of blame at lawyers and financial companies as the worst offenders.

"Last year we edited more than 1,000 documents into plain English and there is still a lot of tripe out there," said campaigner John Lister.

Tonbridge Borough Council was mocked for a tree preservation order "a copy whereof together with the map included therein is enclosed herewith."

And the campaign spread its wings as far afield as Hollywood.

The "Foot in Mouth" bafflement award went to Hollywood star Alicia Silverstone who said "I think that the film 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

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OK, folks, it's past time for another contest. The rules:

1. Your submission must be less than 250 words. Real words.

2. If it is not your original "writing" you must give discredit to the source.

3. Judge will base his decision on the utter incomprehensibility of the submission. Remember, extra points will go to the person whose submission is utterly incomprehensible on a real level but is so surreally so that it appears to be comprehensible.

The winner will win something. After all, that's what contests are for.

In keeping with the spirit of the contest, the prize will be something intangible and incomprehensible.


TEd