Dear WW: I wouldn't call your childish fascination with the bizarre schadenfreude. I'll give you one. I had just gone off diving board, and a beautiful bimbo in an all rubber bathing suit (early 1930's) dove next. Obviously for first time in that suit. As she hit the water, the suit expanded,and stayed on surface, where I "rescued" it. It was the ultimate in Schadenfreude be able to insist on her letting me help her put it back on. A knight "arrant" rescuing a damsel in distress.