This is for you Helen since you mentioned you liked limericks. (I looked for a limericks thread to continue on with, but I didn't find one... forgive the presumption of this newbie starting a new thread...)

There once was a woman whose thighs,
Were as strong as a wiseman is wise.
She took great delight,
In squeezing men tight,
If they satisfied her with their size.

Of course, we know size doesn't matter.
Whether it's shorter or fatter,
It's all how you move,
Once you get in that groove,
And neatness counts, try not to splatter!