I just received a copy of this reply to the revocation from a Brit:

> Response to: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
>
> To the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern
> Ireland,
>
> We welcome your concern about our electoral process.
> It must be
> exciting for
> you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a
> distance. As
> always we're
> amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a
> world power. The
> sun never
> sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum!
>
> However, we regretfully have to decline your offer
> for intervention. On
> the
> other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to
> enforce your new
> policy (for
> the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that
> you have little to no
> real
> power). After much deliberation, we have decided to
> continue our
> tradition as
> the longest running democratic republic. It seems
> that switching to a
> monarchy
> is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the
> majority of the world.
>
> To help you rise from your current anachronistic
> status, we have
> compiled a
> series of helpful suggestions that we hope you
> adopt:
>
> 1. Realise that language is an organic structure,
> and that you aren't
> always
> correct in your pronunciation or spelling.
>
> Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey
> Davy (an Englishman)
> invented
> the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal.
> However, in common
> usage
> the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the
> naming convention of
> other
> elements. In 1925 the United States decided to
> switch back to the
> _original_
> spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which
> point we dominated the
> aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that
> the process of
> actually
> producing aluminum was developed by an American and
> a Frenchman (not an
> Englishman).
>
> However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford
> English Dictionary. It's
> an
> interesting collection, considering that over 10,000
> of the words in the
>
> original edition were submitted by a crazy American
> civil-war veteran
> called
> Dr. William Charles Minor.
>
> 2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian
> accents, and then
> we'll talk
> about the English and Australian accent issue.
>
> 3. Review your basic arithmetic. (Hint 100 - 98.85
> = 1.15 and 100 -
> 97.85 =
> 2.15)
>
> 4. If you want English actors as good guys, then
> make your own movies.
> Don't
> rely on us for your modern popular culture. We
> liked "Lock, Stock, and
> Two
> Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full
> Monty". We've also
> heard good
> things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good
> movie a year doesn't
> exactly
> make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing
> pretty well with
> music, so
> keep up the good work on that front.
>
> 5. It's inefficient to have a national anthem that
> changes its title
> whenever
> your monarch dies. Let's not forget that your
> national anthem has an
> extremely
> boring tune. We suggest switching to that Rule
> Brittania ditty, it's
> toetapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt "Candle
> In The Wind" again
> for you
> guys.
>
> 6. Improve at your national sport. Football?
> Soccer? This just in:
> United
> States gets fourth place in men's soccer at the 2000
> Summer Olympics.
> United
> Kingdom? Not even close.
>
> By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. You
> almost managed to get
> through
> the tournament without having your fans start an
> international incident.
>
> 7. Learn how to cook. England has some top notch
> candy. Salt 'n'
> Vinegar
> chips are quite yummy. However, there's a reason
> why the best food in
> your
> country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to
> the culinary arts
> are
> soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. Perhaps
> when you finally
> realize the
> French aren't the spawn of satan they'll teach you
> how to cook.
>
> 8. You're doing a terrible job at understanding
> cars. The obvious error
> is
> that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A
> second problem is
> pricing,
> it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to
> England than to buy
> a car
> in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and
> Aston Martins.
> That's why
> we bought the companies.
>
> 9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize
> for "Teletubbies".
>
> Thank you for your time. You can now return to
> watching bad Australian
> soap
> operas.
>
> P.S. Regarding WW2: You're Welcome.
>