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#94032 - 02/06/03 06:11 PM Re: tee-shirts and bumper stickers
JohnHawaii Offline
member

Registered: 01/17/03
Posts: 171
Loc: Hawaii, USA
And, just in case not everyone was offended, a few more:

1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit
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2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
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3. If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People
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4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
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5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut
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6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point
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7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better
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8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant
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9. Thank You For Pot Smoking
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10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing
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11. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling
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12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings"
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13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer
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14. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger
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15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger
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16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass
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17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
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18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
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19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
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20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me!
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21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
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22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
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23. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
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24. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
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25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
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26. Illiterate? Write For Help
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27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
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28. Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes
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29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles from The Next Exit
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30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
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32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
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37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
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38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
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39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen upside down on a jeep]
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40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph.
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41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
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43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
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44. Ax Me About Ebonics
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45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
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46. Boldly Going Nowhere
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47. Cat: The Other White Meat
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48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
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49. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
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50. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
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51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
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52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
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53. If You! Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
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54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
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55. Saw It ... Wanted It .. Had A Fit ... GotIt!
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56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
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57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
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58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
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59. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them
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61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
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62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
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63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.
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64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
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65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder



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#94033 - 02/10/03 11:10 PM Re: tee-shirts and bumper stickers
WhitmanO'Neill Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/01
Posts: 4189
Loc: Rio Grande, Cape May County, N...

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#94034 - 02/11/03 09:32 AM Re: tee-shirts and bumper stickers
wow Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 11/25/00
Posts: 3439
Loc: New England, USA
I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun!
-------------------------------------
If it's Tourist Season, how come we can't shoot them?



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#94035 - 02/11/03 09:47 AM Re: tee-shirts and bumper stickers
WhitmanO'Neill Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/01
Posts: 4189
Loc: Rio Grande, Cape May County, N...
"previously, on AWAD..."

Living here at a shore resort with a 3 1/2 mile boardwalk crammed with T-shirt shops I could fill a whole page. I've just about seen them all, from blue to cute, but sometimes a new slogan jumps out at you. This one turned my head and gave me a good chuckle last year as I walked down the "boards"...never saw it before or since, not even in any of the shops:

NO MAAM

National
Organization of
Men
Against
Amazonian
Masterhood





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#94036 - 02/11/03 02:07 PM Re: tee-shirts and bumper stickers
milum Offline
old hand

Registered: 09/03/01
Posts: 872
Loc: Birmingham, Alabama
Here's a picture of me wearing my favorite T-shirt. I wear it (kinda like a joke) to lawn parties and social gatherings around Alabama.

http://boatertalk.com/forum/BoaterTalk/325368


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#94037 - 02/11/03 03:02 PM Re: tee-shirts and bumper stickers
sjm Offline
old hand

Registered: 07/19/02
Posts: 742
Loc: Akina
>never saw it before or since, not even in any of the shops:

NO MAAM



Proof positive that you never watched Married With Children




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#94038 - 02/11/03 06:02 PM Re: tee-shirts and bumper stickers
Coffeebean Offline
old hand

Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 725
Loc: Oregon, USA
Have you seen:

Menopausal - Stay Back!

and something I saw only once (no wonder)--

Colostomy is my bag.


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#94039 - 02/12/03 03:41 PM Re: tee-shirts and bumper stickers
bonzaialsatian Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 09/27/02
Posts: 261
Loc: London/Prague
I've often found postcards to be good for this kinda thing -here are a few I saw the other day or have stuck to my door:

Nice Person, Wrong Planet

I'm not wierd... I'm just special

Please leave this planet as you would wish to find it

(with a picture of a dog on the front) At least my dog looks at me when I speak to him...

Bankers are people who lend you an umbrella when the sun is shining and then want it back when it starts to rain.

And a personal favorite:
Nothing right in left brain. Nothing left in my right brain.


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#94040 - 02/12/03 03:45 PM Re: tee-shirts and bumper stickers
Faldage Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/01/00
Posts: 13803
I have a T shirt with a picture of the Venus of Willendorf

http://art.wlu.edu/venus of willendorf.jpg

and the legend: Must Be Venus Envy


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#94041 - 02/12/03 03:45 PM Re: tee-shirts and bumper stickers
WhitmanO'Neill Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/01
Posts: 4189
Loc: Rio Grande, Cape May County, N...
If it's Tourist Season, how come we can't shoot them?

Ya mean we can't? ...oops!




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