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I've been tidying all kinds of papers (new year's res'n) and found a few scraps on which I'd written some Demented Dictionary terms....Thought it might be fun to start up a new thread, since there are now so many new members....? Roolz: Pick a dictionary, any dictionary. Flip to a page - any page. Combine the catchwords at the top of the page and create a definition for them. (Keep flipping until you find a combination you like!) Don't forget to mention in which dictionary you found your catchwords....The following all come from the Canadian Oxford: vivarium vogue all the rage among fashion-conscious endangered species ballroom banana split newest required element in ballroom dancing competitions brewery bridle what the Whitbread horses wear while working (or the Carlsberg horses!) give-and-go glance the look you give your teammate to signal you want to do a quick pass back and forth with the ball or puck gay gearwheel the one toothed wheel in a set of gears that consistently skips ozone-friendly Ozzie an Australian who refrains from using chemicals that are destructive to the ozone layer divorcee do a party for people whose divorces have recently been finalised circumspect citrus the lemon that rolls to the back of the fridge, only to be discovered when it's too late accession account any story told by an elder while perusing the family tree plus-minus pocket any repository for folding money Edit: Just nipped away for a sec to go to makeashorterlink - in case anyone would like to revisit the first Demented Dictionary thread, here 'tis: http://makeashorterlink.com/?O1B821D03
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and here's a quick note to the aforementioned "newer members" (or maybe its a reminder): you don't have to trouble making-a-shorter-link for internal AWADtalk links; just lop it off after the "number", thusly: http://wordsmith.org/board/showflat.pl?Cat=&Board=wordplay&Number=75157
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And it might be worth noting that if you want to refer to the whole thread, do it as tsuwm did with the link as flat http://wordsmith.org/board/showflat.pl. If you want to point to a specific post in the thread change the showflat to showthreaded, thusly: http://wordsmith.org/board/showthreaded.pl?Cat=&Board=wordplay&Number=76136
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i'll better just watch :P
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old hand
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Oops....just trying not to make the page go wide! Thanks for the tips, tsuwm & Faldage.
Flat and threaded continue to confuse me, but.
Say, is anyone going to post any DD entries here?! rav, I wish you would join in, rather than watch! I had you, and MM, and bonzaialsatian and others in mind when I started this thread....
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Ah! Got my trusty Chambers (thanks again, Jo!).
chanoyu --- character A tea ceremony in writing only.
feverfew --- fiddle Black market flowers.
lumber --- lurch What the home-improvement store guy does when he's loading your car.
point blank --- polar Too far. (Think about it.)
protogalaxy --- province What the cosmic developer wants to sell you. Closely related to that bridge in Brooklyn.
I really liked this game before, but it occurred at a time when I couldn't participate.
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old hand
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hee hee! thanks Jackie, those are great! 
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Seems apart from Jackie's response (thank you honey!), this thread went over like the proverbial bowling ball drifting across a lake....Sigh.
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(hint) prolific --- procrastinators
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incomparable--incumbent -- pope??
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From Dictionary of Banking and Finance:
Disciplinary --- Diversification
Bond & Co. have recently added a cat o' nine tails to their succesful line of cane products.
Bingley
Bingley
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Pooh-Bah
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Ed: From the Concise Oxford
Commune companion – fellow dropout
Coney conformance – large toothed
Exaltation exchange – swop priest for lama
Governess gram – severe lady administering discipline to party goer
Gross grummet – Brobdingnagian borehole
Hip Hobbit – Bilbo with guitar and joint, sans handkerchief
Mako man – debt collector
Miniature misanthrope – poison dwarf
Needless neighbourhood – Beverley Hills
Oppugn orchitis – going for the red ball
Penance penthouse – rooftop lock-up
Press pretence – public interest campaign by tabloid paper
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enthusiast
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from the Pocket Oxford Dictionary (7th edition, 1984)
sleeper slouch -- bad posture upon waking
folk force -- the power of the people
cream crime -- feline felony
turncoat twitter -- the chatter of a traitor turned stool-pigeon
shy signal -- batted eyelashes?
loveless lump -- my ex
fauna fellowship -- pride of lions, etc. (cross-threading)
And I learned something: the name of the game I know as pick-up-sticks or Mikado is spillikins - how cute is that!
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American heritage: New College Edition
mammy mandate
Fetch the firewood, Billy Junior, or fetch me a switch.
Madam Madwort
What I call any of the Awad ladies (behind their backs) who misses the point of my diamond-studded wit and takes offense at my well-intended remarks.
martial law mash
The national dance of Nigeria.
A sad and deadly dance. May God above help the innocent and good among these people, we apparently can't.
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OED
go go
Dance form of the 1970s
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Faldage, you have an OED? I am green with envy....Someday.... 
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richmond english dictionary
gibberish -- gipsy - fortuneteller
morthia -- mot - "it won't hurt"
macaw -- magistrate -??
phrase -- picket - AWADtalk
antic -- ape - definitely all politicians you don't like :)
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macaw -- magistrate -?? Law-parroting judge?
"The Highly Selective Dictionary for the Extrodinarily Literate"
Nexus - Nyctalopia = blind bondsman
Prolix - Pusillanimous = tediously wordy coward
Disconsolate - Dissentient = Unhappy majority
I have used the actual definitions as a clue to the made up meaning.
Forthwith - Fulsome = too much of a good thging (is not enough!)
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The Official Scrabble Players Dictionary, third edition
fearful fellator - a short-throated person
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macaw--magistrate: a judge who parrots the law
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from The Devil's Dictionary--Ambrose Bierce Loquacity--Lord: mmm, tempting, so many of us on this board, but I'll give the crown to Dub-Dub!  Neighbor--Noumenon: shifty friend Creditor--Cupid : lottery win! Tzetze--Understanding: wisdom on the fly! I like that one! I think I'll quit while I'm ahead
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thuggee thymol - Antiseptic procurred through the black market in India.
Stravinsky stress - Medical condition of the elbow inflicted by conducting Igor's works.
Northern Ireland nor'wester - Very few winds on the planet get colder than these.
scaffolding scamp - A high-rise window washer who missed a spot.
wame war - Unborn twins fighting for territory.
mass media mastitis - An anniversary party at Heff's house.
breathtaking brew - The newest creation from Goose Island named "Lake Effect".
noddle nomograph - What you'd become watching smell-a-vision in stereo.
frolic froth - What you get by adding bubble bath to your jacuzzi!
F+W 1971
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The Bantam New College Spanish and English Dictionary 1987
mind miscarriage - when the thought doesn't quite make it to the tip of your tongue
ageism aisle - where you can find Depends and Preparation H
apologetic apron - pinafore with this phrase in bold letters..."Sorry I burned dinner"
ass atrocity - butt crack exposed
blabber block - hand over the mouth
cut-rate dance-band - musicians at a trailer-park wedding
fault finding felt-tipped pen - editors' weapon of choice
free lunch fringe - those that show up for happy hour every day
one-way orange squeezer - it won't put the juice back in the orange
passable pawn - the Queen winks at him on her way by
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cut-rate dance-band - musicians at a trailer-park weddingI've never been to a trailer-park wedding...I'd love to sometime!  You know you're at a trailer-park wedding when all the guys have had the bride except for the groom!
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From Web's New World (p886):
Moth-eaten Motor Home
Venue for aforementioned redneck nuptials
...no, I didn't make this up...
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old hand
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I have a feeling I'm going to be using...what was it again? o yes! mind miscarriage! and also ass atrocity - much perpetuated by plumbers, electricians, plasterers, painters, and suchlike handymen.... muchas gracias, consuelo!
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much perpetuated by plumbers, electricians, plasterers, painters, and suchlike handymen....
Oh, you-all crack me up! Doug, nice to see you back here!
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"2000 Most Challenging And Obscure Words" by Norman W. Schur.
(pgs 138-9) exoteric - farouche = outsiders.
(pgs 416-7) gematria - gephyrophobia = fear of learning secrets
(pgs 436-7)humuhumunukunukuapua'a - hyleg = fishy science
Love that one!
A fascinating book. Gives entomology and author's opinion. recommended.
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from the Canuck Oxford (discovered while looking up something else - I forget what, now!):
Dalmatia damson: a plum that's gone spotty.
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macaw--magistrate: a judge who parrots the law
. . . but only for Mynah offenses . . .
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nudge nurse: patient harassment
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From Webster's New World Dictionary, Second College Edition:
Last quarter -- Lather: the quarterly redneck bath
Kidskin -- Kimono: the latest rage for Japanese leather-lovers
Invention -- Invisible: the Emperor's New Clothes?
Anticoagulant -- Antipathy: a substance that delays the clotting of bad blood.
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Volcano Islands -- Voluntary: a spontaneous organ solo of a bombastic nature.
Up-bow -- Upset: violence in the violin section.
Triumphant -- Trolley: A Streetcar Named De Winner?
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re. Macaw - Magistrate, but only for mynah offences the judge sounds like a bird brain to me. 
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From Webster's New World Dictionary, Second College Edition:
Tarragon - Tassel: a little something to spice up your outfit
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Webster's New World Dictionary and Thesaurus:
pg 617:
sunken / superstar: Michael Jackson.......
pg 241:
folly / footwork: Flirty Dancing (ok, so, I took poetic license with the def of folly....but being flirty could be considered a folly, and I could not resist rhyming Dirty Dancing :)
pg 433:
open air / opiate: A drug so powerful, one must ingest it in the open air, lest he infects everyone in the building with it......
pg 293:
hobo / holiday: Why, a holiday for hobos, of course!
pg 377:
manly / mansion: A mansion full of manly mans........
pg 597:
splinter / sportsman: Someone who enjoys digging splinters out of other people's skin, as a contact sport.......
pg 466:
picturesque / pile: What some art noveau types might call a pile of junk......
PG 296:
hostile / housewife: A given........
pg 295:
homework / hooey: What my son would say about the school work he is forced to do at home.....
pg19:
amaretto / amethyst: An oxymoron by Greek standards.......
pg 661:
turtleneck / two: A high necked sweater for a two headed turtle......
pg 677:
uptight / usage: People who are uptight about the proper usage of words like "longue" and "lounge"........
pg 642:
timber / tinkle: When timber goes......well, you 'know'......
pg 615:
sucker / suit: No definition needed....wev'e all worn one........
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To pull what RubyRed called a "minor threadjack" (nice word) my parents still have a dictionary so thick it is often used as a highchair and so old that computer is defined as "one who computes"
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My parents have a dictionary so old that nuclear is not in it.
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So which dictionaries are these?
Details, Zed & CBean, enquiring minds want details!
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The thick one was a 1947 Websters. I'm having Mom put it in the will for me.
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Hi, AnnaS! I'll ask Mom and Dad when I talk to them Saturday. They'll probably think I'm nuts for wanting to know . . . Yah, that dictionary is in two large volumes. It made elementary school projects rather challenging at times.
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They'll probably think I'm nuts [chant e] I will not say it, I will NOT say it...
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[laughing out loud - e]
Oh Jackie! You hit the nail between the eyes on that one!
yeah, they already know I'm nuts!
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Yep, you're Mrs. Malaprop all right...
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So which dictionaries are these?
Funk & Wagnalls Practical Standard Dictionary of the English Language, 1948.
As I recall, it did not have words like "radioactive" either!
And BTW, Mom and Dad didn't think I was nuts, but I did have a little 'splainin' to do . . .
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it did not have words like "radioactive" either
If so it was a little slow on the uptake. OED has first citaion for radio-activity from 1898. The definition might not be quite what you expect but.
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Greetings:
I have enjoyed reading messages in the various forums, and am submitting my contribution.
Guide Word Phrases
from Webster’s II, New College Dictionary, 2001 (Houghton Mifflin)
ancillary—anesthesia: a rubber mallet in case the drugs don’t work.
burglar—bursary: where it seems a lot of our taxes go.
census—centripetal force: trying to keep track of the kids while going around in circles.
convergent evolution—convulse: reaction to the realization that god didn’t make every little thing just so.
crystal ball—cud: seeing that the future will be the same old thing.
deductible—defense: tax write-off for the bombs and tanks.
ecstatic—editor: one who receives perfect copy on a scoop.
floral—fluctuate: changing the plants in the window box.
gemütlich—generosity: happily giving everything away.
hoggish—holiday: New Orleanians keeping a fun thing all to themselves.
holier-than-thou—Holy Week: for the ones who don’t approve of fun things.
howling—humanity: the crowd at Starbuck’s (coffee house) at 7:50 a.m.
inferiority complex—inflorescence: coming out of your shell.
intentional—interface: deliberately allowing communication to actually take place.
jailbird—jaunt: got only as far as the road.
kiwi—knobkerrie: a small club to squash birds or fruit.
ladies’ man—Lamarckian: like father, like son.
melodramatic—Mendelian: wringing your hands while waiting to find out if yours will be the one in four.
misanthropic—misfortune: being shipwrecked on a desert island, with the all of the ship’s passengers and crew.
mukluk—multiped: shoeing the dogsled team.
nicotinic—nihilism: nothing matters anyway so why not smoke.
outlive—outspend: what the kids are going to do.
personal computer—pervasive: indeed!
perverse—petition: the so-called “Defense of Marriage” act.
plastic—platoon: those green toy soldiers.
preschool—presidential: INDEED!
quag—quantum: It’s just one thing after another.
quintuplet—quoth: wa-wa-wa-wa-wa
Received Pronunciation—reciprocity: I say, you pronounce my wuds the way I like, and I’ll pronounce yoors the way you like. Cheerio.
renewedly—repel: what you keep doing to that blasted fly.
resegregation—resistance: no, we are NOT going back to that.
retroactive—revelation: god meant “celebrate” not “celibate.”
revelatory—revisionism: June 1978, OK, blacks CAN join the Mormon priesthood after all.
sacramental—safe sex: god didn’t mean go forth and overmultiply. . .
sentient—septum: the nose knows.
slipped disk—slow: if you have one, you will be.
slow burn—slush fund: what you do when you find out they have one.
slut—smeary: <oh yuk, but I couldn’t resist>
subjective—subordinate: stop worrying, you only think you’re inferior.
superlunary—suppliant: now you want the stars, too?
takedown—tales: a wrestler’s stories.
tequila—ternary: three strikes and you're out.
Triple Crown—trivia: stats for the last 20 years.
unconquerable—underclothing: the medieval chastity belt.
unintelligent—universality: everyone else “out there.”
variant—vasectomy: using scissors instead of a scalpel.
verdict—vernier: what the scales of justice need sometimes.
wraparound—write: when there’s no more room at the bottom of the page and you start up the side.
xanthene—x-ray tube: <I tried. . . YOU think of something>
yokel—yuck: what the city folk think of the country folk.
zodiacal light—Zr: A faint and hazy cone of light; lustrous, strong, and grayish-white.
rainbow
[red]r[/red][orange]a[/orange][green]in[/green][blue]b[/blue][purple]ow[/purple]
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Welcome aboard, Rainbow. Wonderful stuff!
********
This was one of my favorite, creative and stimulating threads... I'll take a few moments and see what I can come up with, again. There are more of these pairings in a few different threads... if yer looking.
********
Although, personally I agree with most all of your sentiments, some travel to the brink of politicizing... which "dog dibrof" we snuggle up to here... not that anyone here would stoop to be *fucking politically correct (or anything like that...)
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profligate ... programmata
licentious decrees; e.g., There Shall be More Sex in the Streets
(to the melodic strains of Why Don't We Do It in the Road?!)
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gemstone gene-splicing - Living jewlery.
bravado break - Time off for bungee-jumpers.
incognita incontinent - For ladies who just have to go right now.
premonitorily prerequisite - Read the syllabus before you take the class.
ingrain initiation - 'Hell-week' for pledging frat boys.
momento money - A penny found away, on holiday.
I thought I *owed someone some hyphens...
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Joined: Jun 2004
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From The American Heritage College Dictionary (Fourth Edition): Blubber blueprint: The anatomy of a whale Cherry plum chi: Pretty little personal energy Convulsant Cooperative: Group of people suffering from epilepsy Disability disbursement: Medical leave monies Discommend discretion: Disregarding one’s own opinion Discretionary disgrace: Shameful waste of money Engine block enlargement: S(o)up-up your motor Falsity fanfic: Non-canon fiction written by fans based on a television show, movie, or other admired work. First-class fishgig: A really snazzy spear Fox frailty: Vulpine Weakness Gumboil guru: Dental expert Jerk jewelry: Obnoxious or gaudy ornaments worn by obnoxious or gaudy people. Knockabout Knuckle: Slang term for a rough and tumble fighter Loaded lobworm: Over-large segmented worm London long shot: Improbable winner of the Royal Ascot Make-believe Malayalam: Pretend language that sounds vaguely like the Dravidian language spoken in southwest India. Mallet man: A man hired to commit construction. Mauritius mayhem: Last hurrah of the Dodo Obviate ocean: Anticipating and dismissing masses of saltwater Pool Poppet: Land locked version of a beach bunny Principality prison camp: Where the Prince keeps those who disagree with him Rio risk: Any number of Carnival activities that could be harmful Sassy saturation: More vim and vigor than one can stand Sumba sunblock: Lotion used to block out the Indonesian sun Tiresome titter: Annoying giggling Toponym torpor: Experience of a non-onomastician at COGNA http://www.cogna50usa.org/And from Barron’s Law Dictionary (fifth edition) : Multipartite Murder: Intentional killing of a human being by two or more persons Collateral Color: Item to protect the lender’s green when you’re in the red. Constructive Consumer: Useful retail patrons Corpus Co-Sign: Adding any body to the agreement Counterclaim Court-Martial: Military defendant suing the military Distress District: High-crime area Election Embezzlement: Grave-robbing votes Employment Encumbrance: Too much work Endorsement Enlargement: Commercial deal upgrade after a winning year Exclusive Execution: One-night only! Inter Vios Invasion: Personal space intrusion Letter Lewdness: Note naughtiness Litigants Lockdown: The only way to cut down on lawsuits Maintenance Malice: Result of upsetting the handyman Quasi Question: Not quite an inquiry Security Sedition: Illegal disruption of safety Sodomy Solicitation: Naughty suggestion eta~ T-entries Z-Dub
Z-Dub
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