Warning: Terrible Puns And Wordplay Inside!

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#83402 - 10/11/02 10:04 AM Warning: Terrible Puns And Wordplay Inside!
modestgoddess old hand Registered: 02/18/02 Posts: 833 Loc: Eastern Ontario, Canada	A friend just sent me these....good for a groan or a giggle! For all you lexiophiles: 1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway). 3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes. 6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off. 7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed. 9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. 10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. 11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. 13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. 15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under. 16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key. 17. Every calendar's days are numbered. 18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine. 19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. 20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 21. A plateau is a high form of flattery. 22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. 24. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall. 25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. 26. When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye. 27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. 29. Acupuncture is a jab well done. 30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat. If you can't see the bright side, polish the dull side.
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#83403 - 10/13/02 08:15 AM Re: Warning: Terrible Puns And Wordplay Inside!
troubador stranger Registered: 09/29/02 Posts: 13	7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. A chicken crossing the road is a grille burger.
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#83404 - 10/22/02 09:35 PM Re: Warning: Terrible Puns And Wordplay Inside!
Littljoe stranger Registered: 09/26/02 Posts: 15 Loc: Kansas City	Hey, that's nacho cheese, it's mine!
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#83405 - 10/26/02 07:20 AM Re: Warning: Terrible Puns And Wordplay Inside!
bonzaialsatian enthusiast Registered: 09/27/02 Posts: 261 Loc: London/Prague	28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. and the ones who rebel are insubordinate clauses! Oh yeah, and don't forget... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!
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#83406 - 10/26/02 10:19 PM Re: Warning: Terrible Puns And Wordplay Inside!
Jackie Carpal Tunnel Registered: 03/15/00 Posts: 11577 Loc: Louisville, Kentucky	Thanks, mg--these made me laugh out loud.
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