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> Is it an offence to be drunk in charge of a bicycle if you are a fish?
There has been the odd occasion I've worried about this one (getting caught, I mean, as it's undoubtedly an offence). I usually come to the conclusion that as long as you can cycle in a straight line you're OK. If you're unsure whether you're cycling in a straight line or not, you're probably not OK. Only problem is you need to ride the bike to assess your ability to assess your straight-line cycling abilities.
Personally I think cycle tracks, and indeed the edge of all roads, should have a nice bike-wheel size groove built in, so us fish can drink as much as nature dictates without qualm.
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Oh come on, a pig couldn't ride a bike - it doesn't have any fins.
Amusing discovery though, tsuwm! Maybe I should set up an "other creatures on bikes" sub-section on my web site?
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Personally I think cycle tracks, and indeed the edge of all roads, should have a nice bike-wheel size groove built in, so us fish can drink as much as nature dictates without qualm.
I love the imagery that this conjures up... I saw a merry fish cycling qualmlessly by on a groovy track.
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Carpal Tunnel
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>I ham <
Putting on an act again are you? Maybe - but please forgive the hambiguity. That's one of the reasons I love Shakespeare - trottering out all those ihambic pentameters! 
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a merry fish cycling qualmlessly by on a groovy track
Hi Marty,
Your rendition is a lot better than mine, has to be said - if I had a hat to doff I would doff it.
Are you "qualmlessly groovy" when you go XC skiing?
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Pooh-Bah
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I love Shakespeare
I suppose you are one of the peoeple who believe Shakespeare was written by bacon? [chortle]
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Shakespeare was written by baconThat's truly hawful! And a rasher comment I've seldom heard
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Are you "qualmlessly groovy" when you go XC skiing?
FishonaBike,
Good pick-up, the expression works well for my sport. Since I can't think of a witty rejoinder, I'll have to get semi-serious. The "grooviness" has largely gone out of XC skiing over the last decade or so, with the demise of the traditional Nordic "diagonal stride" in favour of a faster "skating" technique. Skating skis are shorter and thinner and rely totally on technique to prevent sliding back during the "kick" or push-off part of the stride, unlike traditional Nordic skis which have a "fish-scale" pattern (thought you'd like that one) or sticky wax on the base.
Having said all that, the above applies primarily to XC ski racing, which I'm not into. I'm more of a back-country skier, on metal-edged skis, with heavier boots, at my qualmlessest on untracked slopes far from the madding crowd.
But this isn't a snowsports bulletin board, so I'd better give it some relevance by throwing in a few XC-skiing-related words. We langlaufers tend to be derided by downhill ("alpine") skiers, who call us "skinny skiers" or "chook-walkers". We in turn call them "yo-yo skiers". We all deride the snowboarders, although I can't for the moment think of a common insulting term, other than the generic "hoon".
Cheers,
ChookOn(Skinny)Skis
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Not necessarily insulting, but I ahve heard snowboarders described as the crows of the slopes, due to their tendency to settle in chattering groups on the snow, squawking noisily at each other and not really doing much. Except getting in the way of those who have just got off the lift and would actually like to ski!
(Any boarders out there, I am about half-serious! If you have to stop in groups, do it away from the lift and at the edge of the slope. Please!)
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Chookman,
Off-road XC definitely sounds qualmlessliest to me. The best kind of cycling, similarly, is where you're free to take your time and see the sights. Even if you're on a route that's been 'recycled' time and again..
I'm obliged to ask about the derivations of 'chook' and 'hoon'!
Fishman
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