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#5978 - 09/01/00 12:45 PM clever insults
apples + oranges Offline
newbie

Registered: 08/30/00
Posts: 46
Loc: Canada
Has anyone ever made up clever ways to insult people? Or made other words to use while name-calling?

I hope people know that this is just for fun and never meant to hurt anyone's feelings. So try not to take anything here too seriously.

My friend and I made up some not-so-cleaver, but (I hope you'll agree) funny names to call people.

All phrases involve an object, which in our case was "nerd". Then think of a place (any place) that the object could be, or something for that object to do.

What we came up with is the following, #1 "nerd on a stick." Others are:
nerd in a box
nerd in a drawer
nerd under the table
nerd in a kettle
nerd sipping tea
nerd on a bench
etc.

Hope you have fun! My friend and I don't use it to insult anybody, merely as a joke.

Can't reach me here? E-mail me duskydreamer@icqmail.com or ICQ me 71367484.

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#5979 - 09/02/00 07:41 AM Re: clever insults
RhubarbCommando Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/23/00
Posts: 2204
Well, A&O, as an inveterate automobilist (but also an ex-cyclist) the great bane of my life is "a nerd on a bike," of which there are many even if they are not the majority. (Good cyclists don't get noticed - it's only the bad ones that have high profiles.)

I have recently come across a term of abuse which, from context, means someone who is stupid to the point if criminality - a "Twonk." Very expressive, don't you think?

Has anyone else heard this (I've heard it from two completely separate sources) and, if so, have you any ideas on its provenance?

I love your moniker - but where's your profile?


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#5980 - 09/02/00 11:46 AM Re: clever insults
apples + oranges Offline
newbie

Registered: 08/30/00
Posts: 46
Loc: Canada
With my friend we made up a somewhat general equivalent of nerd on a bike: nerd on wheels!

But if you want to be specific you can use nerd in a car, or even nerd on a bus.

All these insults bring me back to last year in English class when we were studying Shakespeare and we were allowed to insult each other in Shakespearean English. I'll see if I can still find the list of insults.

You CAN send me a message here. Just type my user name in "send private."

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#5981 - 09/02/00 12:04 PM shakespearean insults
apples + oranges Offline
newbie

Registered: 08/30/00
Posts: 46
Loc: Canada
SHAKESPEAREAN INSULTS

Directions: Combineth one word or phrase from each of the columns below and addeth "Thou" to the beginning. Make certain thou knowest the meaning of thy strong words, and thou shalt have the perfect insult to fling at the wretched fools of the opposing team. Let thyself go. Mix and match to find that perfect barb from the bard!

COLUMN A
bawdy
brazen
churlish
distempered
fitful
gnarling
greasy
grissled
haughty
hideous

COLUMN B
bunch-backed
clay-brained
dog-hearted
empty-hearted
evil-eyed
fat-kidneyed
heavy-headed
horn-mad
ill-breeding

COLUMN C
canker-blossom
clotpole
crutch
cutpurse
dogfish
egg-shell
gull-catcher
hedge-pig
hempseed
jack-a-nape

We were given 30 words in each column but that's too much to list here.

You CAN send me a message here. Just type my user name in "send private."

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#5982 - 09/02/00 04:21 PM Re: clever insults
crazylegs Offline
stranger

Registered: 09/02/00
Posts: 5
Hmmmm ... I don't know about clever insults but ... when I am driving I enjoy dividing other drivers in to categories of 'twits' (who are simply naive idiots, unaware of their poor / dangerous / unsettling driving styles) and 'twerps', who are quite aware of what they are doing and ought to be banned from the road.

I find that involving myself in this simple categorisation makes my tolerance of other drivers a lot higher than it might otherwise be, and prevents me from using much stronger language.


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#5983 - 09/03/00 06:11 PM Re: clever insults
Brandon Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/16/00
Posts: 218
Loc: Mountain West, USA
Those clever insults we find in the classics (read: Shakespeare) are usually multi-layered in meaning. Therefore, I submit to you that each insult have two components, each a barb, but the two combined a truly two-edged sword:

nerd in a pocket (a nerd under someone's control)
nerd in a pocket-protector (a nerd under another nerd's control)
Nereus, Nerd of the high seas (akin to a Greek sea-god)
Neronic, Emperor of Nerdness (Hail, Nero!)
Neurotic nerd of the Netherlands (no offense intended, of course)

Oh, I give up.


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#5984 - 09/03/00 06:24 PM Re: clever insults
apples + oranges Offline
newbie

Registered: 08/30/00
Posts: 46
Loc: Canada
nerd in a pocket (a nerd under someone's control)
nerd in a pocket-protector (a nerd under another nerd's control)
Nereus, Nerd of the high seas (akin to a Greek sea-god)
Neronic, Emperor of Nerdness (Hail, Nero!)
Neurotic nerd of the Netherlands (no offense intended, of course)


HAHA! That's one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time. I had to tell my friend, with whom I originaly started the nerd names, and she laughed too. I especially like "nerd in a pocket-protector" and "neurotic nerd of the Netherlands".

You CAN send me a message here. Just type my user name in "send private."

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#5985 - 09/05/00 03:48 PM Re: clever insults
jmh Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 03/22/00
Posts: 1981
>pocket-protector

What on earth is a pocket protector?


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#5986 - 09/05/00 04:19 PM Re: clever insults
tsuwm Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 04/03/00
Posts: 10521
Loc: this too shall pass
In reply to:

What on earth is a pocket protector?


a plastic pocket which fits inside your shirt pocket for the purpose of holding all your various colored ink-pens and pencils whilst protecting the fabric of said shirt -- standard issue to engineers and computer nerds during the 70s and on.

here's a particularly typical one:
http://www.powerup.com.au/~squadron/order.htm

the part with the logo is a flap which, when 'flapped' over your pocket and with pens clipped to it, holds the whole dingus in place.


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#5987 - 09/05/00 04:47 PM Re: clever insults
tsuwm Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 04/03/00
Posts: 10521
Loc: this too shall pass
Abecedarian insult: "Sir, you are an apogenous, bovaristic, coprolalial, dasypygal, excerebrose, facinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ithyphallic, jumentous, kyphotic, labrose, mephitic, napiform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, wlatsome, xyloocephalous, yirning, zoophyte!"

[try spell-checking that]


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