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Joined: Jul 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
It's interesting, isn't it, that the strangest things will start you thinking. I was getting the kids ready for school this morning, and something got my mind going. The result:
All of you are, of course, familiar with The Horse Whisperer, about a fellow who trains wild horses simply by whispering sweet nothings in their ears. Michael Ritz, has a similar talent. He trains moose by talking to them. No one has written a book about him, but there is an obscure opera. So obscure, in fact, that the author of the opera has hired a group of people to perform it. This troup is composed of people who are all thin enough to come down your chimney and sing the opera in your living room. Yes: Mike Ritz's Moose Talking is sung by the Chimney Width Choir.
Have a happy holiday season!
TEd
TEd
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
I hereby propose the adoptation of the unit of measure of the value of a pun, to be called the TEd, the unit being decibel-seconds and defined as the loudness of the groan measured in dB multiplied by the length of time required to get it measured in seconds. (or dB/sec; the loudness divided by the length of time, I can't decide which)
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
to some degree, the db-sec measure could become unmanageable, as the longer the input the louder the output is likely to be; that is, the db-sec scale could be logarithmic or parabolic or something like that. (and who would want to do the empirical work?) so, in the interest of expediencies, I'd go with db/sec. making it into an index, bigger numbers would indicate more... er... less pain....
btw, coincidentally (or not) the verb 'ted' means to spread out, scatter, or strew abroad for drying -- it seems to apply to making hay, but it seems ripe for transferral.
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Joined: Aug 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773 |
I would factor in units of pain, mental or physical, caused by the, ummmm, TEdicism. Or perhaps you are already assuming a direct correlation between pain units and loudness of groan?
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
I'm with Max. As much as I groaningly respect Your Punfulness, TEd, I sounded it out several times and didn't get it.  post-edit: Figures... soon as I post this, I figure it out. If he had *actually written it *, C.C. Moore would be rolling in his grave. And I groan. ~~~~ * There's at least one who allows as how it was plagiarized.
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Joined: Apr 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
a case in point, faldage -- just the sort of thing that will skew the db-sec scale, when ASp found [Max finds] out what this is.
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
TEd, without peer, is hereby officially dubbed dub-dubbed? a knight;
hence our Pun-ster may now be referred to as Sir Pun.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good Knight.
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Joined: Aug 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
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Joined: Apr 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
>I would factor in units of pain...
this being, as we all now know, the dol. may I humbly suggest the doldb (to be pronounced duldub -- the first u being an accented schwa).
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