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[crossthreaded from humor, in miscellaneous]
From the Washington Post Style Invitational in which it was postulated that English has male and female nouns, readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reasons. The best submissions:
Detective Novel -- f., because you're not supposed to peek at its end the minute you pick it up.
Swiss Army Knife -- m., because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
Kidneys -- f., because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
Penlight -- m., because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very bright.
Hammer -- m., because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years but it's handy to have around and is good for killing spiders.
Tire -- m., because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
Hot air balloon -- m., because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it. And, of course, there's the hot air part.
Web page -- f., because it is always getting hit on.
Web page -- m., because you have to wait for it to reload.
Shoe -- m., because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
Copier -- f., because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
Magic 8 Ball -- m., because it gives monosyllabic answers that usually indicate it did not pay attention to your question.
Ziploc bags -- m., because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
Sponges -- f., because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
Critic -- f. What, this needs to be explained?
Subway -- m., because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.
Hourglass -- f., because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
[thanx (I think) to teD]
p.s. - speaking of hot-air balloons, my lovely bride and I went on a h-ab ride last evening. it was tres cool. the landing was particularly interesting.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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that tsuwm-- in the same vein...
Blenders--m., they make a lot of noise, they are not much use, but you always want to have one around-
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Carpal Tunnel
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Oops!...What did I do here? I thought this Toy Yoda thing was good for a couple of chuckles, but it's turned the thread into a whirling juggernaut! 
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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"... a loaf of bread,
a jug of thine, and WOW"
Omar K
(miscellaneous sidebar: in addition to "Wow" what other words both begin and end with "w"?)
Back to topic, a young man named "Sam Manella" played on DePaul University's basketball team some time ago. One trusts that it is coincidental that Sam Manella is now a lawyer in Chicago.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Sam Manella is now a lawyer in Chicago
Good thing he doesn't run a restaurant.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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If he had been Sal Monella, his DePauw University team could have been named the "Scooters".
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Carpal Tunnel
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Dear Tsuwm.... thank you for lightening the mood! You have saved us all from getting really serious about a non-word subject!
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addict
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addict
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what other words both begin and end with "w"?)
Off the top of my head - willow, wallow, widow, window.....?
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Carpal Tunnel
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don't forget williwaw!!
edit: and I almost forgot wheelbarrow. ::whew::
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Carpal Tunnel
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