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or Epithalamium, a poem in honor of a bride and bridegroom.
June will be upon us soon and somewhere between the beach and mountain retreats will be heard wedding bells.
I'd like to think so inspite of Jane Fritsch essay in today's New York Times titled "Matrimony: the Magic's Still Gone", where she says "So, at the beginning of the 21st century, there are very few truths universally acknowledged on the subject of men, women and marriage."
And then at the other end of the spectrum (actually on the opposite page of the above essay)is Nicholas Wade's essay "Birds Do It. Bees Do It. Some People Do, Too." A brief scientific look at monogamy, polygamy, polygyny (a males acquisition of many females), polyandry( a female's taking of more than one partner).
In this thread, I would like to see if there are exotic wedding rituals you have witnessed in other countries that you would like to share or is there a wedding you attended that was so special or extraordinary that you cannot forget it.
Quotes and epithalamiums are welcome, too.
chronist
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old hand
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The surest way to be alone is to get married.
Gloria Steinem
Marriage, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
Ambrose Bierce
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Carpal Tunnel
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"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." -Mae West
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i have had the pleasure of two extremely interesting wedding-- One wedding, was the son of a good friend, and it was at the bride's temple. She was hindu. The temple alone -- a complete Hindu temple-- stuck down in the middle of Queen's is a tourist attraction on it own. The wedding-- had one or two elements in common with western religions- Flowers and a wedding tent (similar to the canopy used in Jewish services)-- but everything else-- was new and unexpected... The service was in chanted sanskit-- and include burnt offering of ghee.. The bride (and groom) wore flowers similar to a lei, and the groom, a white loin cloth! It was memorable (and the receptions-- even better)
my sister wedding in a Soka Gakkai budist temple, also in Queen's, less than ½ mile from the Hindu temple. (in a two mile stretch of one street-- over 30 religions are represented) One interesting aspect of the wedding ( which had the participants wearing traditional "western wedding garb" ) was the "Picture taking ceramony" at the temple-- my side of the family was at a disadvantage-- we didn't know the routine, but we quickly learned to watch the japanese guests-- who sorted them selves out in anticapation of the next photo -- But at least we were back to wearing shoes-- since in the temple proper no shoes ( or hats ) were permitted. Several guest were caught with holes in the socks!
My son & daughter in law's wedding, in a field, in the mountains west of Santa Cruz-- with a minister of a "home grown sect" was in many ways, conventional and conserative for my family-- They wrote the own vows-- but the bride walked down the aisle, in white, with bevy of flower girls before her, and the service simple but very recognizable western (christian)
My wedding was not to unconventional-- except my dress was red-- american beauty rose red velvet-- just the skirt part-- the bodice was white crepe-- and the sleeves white georgette. I carried red roses.. (it was in late december-- between christmas an new years) But it was unusual enough.
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enthusiast
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of troy>>>>
My wedding was not to unconventional-- except my dress was red-- american beauty rose red velvet-- just the skirt part-- the bodice was white crepe-- and the sleeves white georgette. I carried red roses.. (it was in late december-- between christmas an new years) But it was unusual enough.
I really enjoyed the weddings you described, some exotic, another, conventional and then a truly original, yours! It must have been was so richly colorful, judging from your gown and your flowers.
My own wedding cannot be judged from the photographs, which made it looked conventional in everyway, but it was a comedy from beginning to end. I do not have the vocabulary to give the comedic justice it deserves.
chronist
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Our wedding (March 4, 2000, March 4, 2000, March 4, 2000 - I must remember that date!) was fancy dress. I was Obiwan Kenobe and my wife was Dana Scully. The celebrant was Judge Judy and the bridesmaid was Jane Austen. The best man was a Waffen SS corporal in full-dress uniform. The photographer was a MIB.
And it was also a comedy from start to finish, not unhelped by the fact that we started the wedding breakfast - or at least the "refreshments" part of it - a full two hours before the ceremony ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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I've heard of wedding breakfasts but I don't think any UK wedding I've ever been to has included breakfast. I think they've all been afternoon affairs. Have I been missing out?
Bingley
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Indonesian weddings are different. The day before, the bride is given a ceremonial bath by close female friends and relatives from her and her husband's family. The water has flowers (I believe jasmine is the flower of choice) floating in it and is poured over her.
The actual wedding is a religious ceremony but is usually only for close family and friends, most of the social focus is on the reception. A small wedding reception will have about 250 guests. Big ones run into thousands. Basically you just invite everyone you've ever met.
The format varies from ethnic group to ethnic group but the basic model goes something like this. As a guest you don't have to arrive at the beginning of the reception, but if you don't you'll miss all the ceremonial bits. There's usually a line of up of members of each family to greet you and collect the present (in Jakarta the present is usually money, but in other places people do still give presents). There's a guest book for you to sign and you get a small souvenir (a notepad with the couple's names on the front, a small pot, or something like that).
The couple and their parents (or stand-ins for deceased parents) arrive in procession and sit on thrones (much too grand to just be called chairs) on a sort of dais at the front. Performers give traditional dances (for people from S. Sumatra the bride dances in public for the one and only time in her life). The couple kneel before each set of parents to thank them for their upbringing, and then feed each other with a handful of rice. Javanese and Sundanese then have the egg ceremony. The groom steps on and breaks an egg and the bride then washes his feet. The couple then sit back down on their thrones and you line up to shake hands with and congratulate the parents on both sides and the couple. Latecomers do this when they arrive. Once you have done that, you can go and get something to eat from a buffet meal laid out (these meals are usually excellent). While eating, you keep your ears cocked for the photo calls. An MC will call up various groups to be photo'd with the couple. "And now could we have the bride's classmates from elementary school." (This is not an exaggeration).
Clothes vary from ethnic group to ethnic group but the bride and female guests usually wear a flimsy blouse called a kebaya and a very tight sarong. They wear their hair in a bun (and get a wig if their hair isn't long enough). The bride wears special make up which is supposed to represent shadows from foliage on her face. She also has a tiara with lots of waving dangly bits. The groom wears a batik shirt,a jacket and a sarong. Male members of the family wear the same and carry a kris in a sheath at their backs. Members of each family all have the same pattern on their sarong. Male guests wear batik shirts, and ordinary trousers.
Bingley
Bingley
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addict
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I've heard of wedding breakfasts but I don't think any UK wedding I've ever been to has included breakfast. I think they've all been afternoon affairs. Have I been missing out?Bingley, weddings and affairs are quite different things. If you've been having afternoon affairs, I don't think you've been missing out.  Rod
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Do you mean to tell me after all these years that they were not auditions for best man  !? Bingley
Bingley
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The Photo taking you speak of Bingley sound very similar to "the Photo taking cerimony" at my sister's ½ Japanese wedding--
First Photos of B&G with His family, then B&G with Her family, then B&G with both sides of the family, then B&G with all his male relatives, then B&G with all her male relatives, then each with female relatives, then male friends, then female friends, then a group shot of every one at the wedding, then all the males at the wedding, then all the females-- but i might have gotten the order wrong...
The batiks and clothing sound wonderful-- My family is pretty unconventional when it comes to wedding clothing. The wedding are almost like the kind in movies -- but just missing one or two things-- or have something extra, like pipers-- we often have pipers at weddings. or things like -- my daughter in law - she desided to wear white-- but she found a beautiful pair of chinese red embroidered wedding slippers-- so she wore red shoes with her white dress.. a cousin, who is also a runner got married in a new pair of Nike's-- she couldn't quite afford everything-- and she had a long white dress, she figured nobody would much see her shoes anyway--and she needed a new pair of nike's for an upcoming race...
I think what i like best is the merging of cultures as well as families.. all cultures have ceremonies for the bride and groom-- and even they are totally new-- they are all fun and enjoyable.. Some of the ceremonal bits you described sound very similar to many western wedding -- "recieving lines" (with family lined up so you can meet and greet) and while we don't have thrones-- The "brides table" is often on a raised platform.. (and the smashed egg sound better than the new custom of smashing wedding cake into each other faces!) There are so many games..
I am very lucky-- one sister married to japanese, a close cousin married to a jamacian, a daughter in law who is half filipino, half aussie--many friends of other cultural backgrounds Often think i am most boring person in my 'set'-- mono lingual, never having lived anywhere but NYC, and having only had small opportunities to travel.. but my friends are all so kind-- and i get to have this rich wonderful life-- because they include me! I haven't traveled around the world-- but i have been to hindu weddings, budist weddings, chinese wedding, the crazy wedding that are all to common in my own family (family trate-- bride never get a dress until last month--"earlyist" date in family is 27 days before wedding..Theory is you'll find something-- never yet had a wedding with the bride walking down the aisle naked!-- but who know-- maybe well have a wedding one of these days at a nudist park!) I made my wedding dress-- and finished sewing the buttons on it 2 hours before the wedding-- while my hair was drying...
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old hand
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Our wedding was pretty North American, except that instead of the usual tall, architectural cake, we had "cultural desserts". My mother-in-law made a Norwegian ring cake (decorated with little Norwegian, Ukrainian, and Italian flags), a family friend made Ukrainian wedding bread (I forget the name, it was decorated with leaves and birds), and another family friend made Sardinian sweets (piddu da mongia/gueffusu/nuns' farts, and amaretti), which were served in Sardinian baskets (now hanging on our multi-cultural wall).
The interesting thing was that both the Norwegian and Sardinian treats were almond-based. My aunty actually had to bring bitter almonds from Sardinia because we couldn't seem to find any in Canada. I read some sort of explanation somewhere about bitter almonds and marriage, although I can't remember the details just now.
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enthusiast
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Bingley says
Indonesian weddings are different.
Shall we award him with "most exotic" wedding experience? I am sure it is a resounding yes.
Thank you, Bingley, for taking the time to give us a glimpse, through a such a vivid imagery, of a wedding many of us will never get to see.
I get the sense of the smell
(The water has flowers, I believe jasmine)
and the colors
The bride wears special make up which is supposed to represent shadows from foliage on her face. She also has a tiara with lots of waving dangly bits. The groom wears a batik shirt
and the pageantry
Performers give traditional dances (for people from S. Sumatra the bride dances in public for the one and only time in her life). The couple kneel before each set of parents to thank them for their upbringing, and then feed each other with a handful of rice. Javanese and Sundanese then have the egg ceremony. The groom steps on and breaks an egg and the bride then washes his feet. The couple then sit back down on their thrones
Many, many thanks for a beautiful postcard!
chronist
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Aha! Is it - could it be - a Zildism? Nah, I'm sure the presently absent Ozzies among us use it, too. Bingley, a wedding breakfast is just another name for a wedding reception. The term "breakfast" is a hangover from its original meaning of "breaking one's fast". It has nothing to do with mornings or afternoons or evenings. As it happens our wedding was at 4 p.m.-ish. 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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...polygyny (a males acquisition of many females), polyandry( a female's taking of more than one partner)...Is it just me, or had anyone else noticed the difference between these two *definitions.
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Is it just me, or had anyone else noticed the difference between these two *definitions.
Or is that because polyandry ought to be measured against polygamy rather than polygyny? 
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enthusiast
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Or is that because polyandry ought to be measured against polygamy rather than polygyny?No, wordcrazy got it right. Polygamy is a general term, referring to a marriage that includes more than two people. Polygyny and Polyandry are specific terms-- polygyny is one man married to two or more women, polyandry is one woman married to two or more men. If you already knew this and were trying to make a humorous point, which I failed to pick up on, forgive me for being pedantic! But I have to show off my Anthropology knowledge somehow...
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If you already knew this and were trying to make a humorous point, which I failed to pick up on, forgive me for being pedantic!No apology necessary - I was not being humorous, merely ignorant. Remember, this is the same clown who got the US/Canada border confused with the Nth/Sth. Korea border!
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MaxQ: I was not being humorous, merely ignorant
Does this mean I can point out the inequality of *acquire vs. *taking?
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Remember, this is the same clown who got the
US/Canada border confused with the Nth/Sth. Korea border!
When was this?!
jimthedog
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Hey, leave me out of this. I've done *enough already to confuse the issue. That's the last time I'll believe one of Max's jokes...
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Remember, this is the same clown who got theUS/Canada border confused with the Nth/Sth. Korea border!
When was this?!In another thread, I said something about managing to impugn Americans on both sides of the 48th parallel, only to be reminded that the US/Canada border runs along the 49th, not the 48th. If, as now seems extremely unlikely, I remember correctly, the line of truce between the two Koreas runs along the 48th parallel. 
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That's the last time I'll believe one of Max's jokes...
¿Qué?
Manuel Q.
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¿Qué?OK. I looked up the two *definitions immediately, and finding out what Rapunzel has stated was true, I had 'no choice' but to believe that the game was afoot. Being the clown that I *am, I found that patience would be ' envious' in this situation, so shut-up I did. Then, since Faldage acquired my position (which was *clearly up for the taking), I then, backed into my own corner of confusion, opted for one last stab at ' humorousness'... yet, nothing beats a sweet Faulty Tower of Babel.
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nothing beats a sweet Faulty Tower of Babel.
Aaah, all is made clear. Once again, the confusion has been caused by the simple error of crediting me with far too much wit!
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old hand
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I've been catching up with the category, and I find it hard to believe no one has gone down this road yet...
Bean? Sardinian sweets (piddu da mongia/gueffusu/nuns' farts...) Tell me more. Why would someone name a comestible so, and why would anyone eat it?
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old hand
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I think the idea is that a nuns are sweet, innocent, pure, and so their farts could be no different. These sweets are really just a combination of sugar, almonds, lemon, and Sambuca. (It is probably a little jab at religion at the same time. But when we were little we loved the name - because what kid doesn't like fart jokes?)
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Once again MaxQ accuses us of crediting him with far too much wit!
Oh, come now Max, to quote Bingley from the Amen, Anu thread.
"Just recognition where it's due, so calm down and let yourself bask in it."
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