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Pooh-Bah
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The things you learn ... Here is a link to a script of the speech given by Mr Samuel Clemens to the Stomach Club in Paris in 1879 on the subject of onanism. http://www.ralphmag.org/onan.htmlWho knew? Leading me to contemplate the seemingly infinite euphemisms for onanism. In my experience (er, hmmmm, that doesn't sound right), nearly any phrase containing a verb and a noun can be interpreted as indicating a one-handed party. How many can we list? spanking the monkey beating the meat ____________ ?
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And Thomas Malthus, who, when he expressed his views about populations growing faster than food supplies inspired not only Darwin-- but a malthusianism society-- (who aim was to curtail population)
Onanism is just a form of malthusiamism!
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Is malthusiastic the evil twin of enthusiastic?
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Okay, since Jackie's not looking, I can post this here. I've just finished The Professor and the Madman, recommended here at AWAD some time back. I enjoyed it quite a bit, but was struck by a phrase that appeared in the description of the meeting of the two protagonists. Each had a most impressive beard, that was described as having "sideburns and ample bugger's grips" or something to that effect. I can venture a guess as to the source of this colorful phrase, but will refrain from doing so. The thing that struck me was that Winchester, the author, used it at all - it seems like it's remarkably vulgar and out of place for such a book. Is this phrase used in the UK in polite society, per Winchester's use, or was he being a bit risqué here? A quick google turned up the following which, although I don't think it necessarily gives the correct definition for bugger's grips, will have many answers to the initial question posed by Sparteye. Forgive me: http://www.viz.co.uk/profanisaurus/propagesA_Z/page_b.htm
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Sparteye, I can't help but ask what you were looking up that you'd stumble upon this speech (which is still hilarious, more than a century later!). For Twain, nothing was sacred, was it.  All I think I'll contribute here [delicate cough e] is my immense fondness for the Brit term wanker, which has proven to be quite, er, flexible.
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have a J. Arthur...
(it's rhyming slang)
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veteran
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A friend of mine recommends onanism on the ground that the best sex is with someone you love. This is the same friend who advocates bisexualism because it doubles your chances for getting a date on Friday night.
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Pooh-Bah
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I can't help but ask what you were looking up that you'd stumble upon this speech
I was reading a thread on the straight dope message board, which posted this link. I can't even remember which thread it was, or which forum the thread was in, since I got distracted. Apparently, the Stomach Club met regularly to discuss topics which were not acceptable subjects of conversation in the rest of society.
I agree that wanker is very handy. One softball pitcher hereabouts heard the chant of wanker every time he intentionally walked the best batter on my husband's team. I wonder if the term stuck.
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You're right, Max. Atomica shows a secondary meaning for the word which might explain the use of Onan's name:
o·nan·ism (ô'nə-nĭz'əm)
n.
1) Masturbation.
2) Coitus interruptus.
[After Onan, son of Judah (Genesis 38:9).]
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This was a case of deliberate premature ejaculation, not masturbation.
Or was it a case of withdrawal-- a form of birthcontrol (albeit a not very effective one), ie, malthusiamism?
And I am not sure that if you lie down with a woman, get excited-- and then finish up with out her--isn't that a sort of masturbation? We had a president who would most likely define that at not having "sex"-- ("Sure, i went to bed with her, and sure I became aroused-- and yes, i even climaxed-- but not in her-- she never got a chance to get aroused-- she never climaxed.. So, no, I never had sex with her! )(and well, in this day and age a very dangerous activity!)(followed up, by our former illustrious leader, with little game played with a cigar--proving that sometime a cigar isn't just a smoke!)
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Dear Max: You are of course right, but what good does it do you so long as the dictionary gives both meanings? The idiots who got it wrong outnumber you, and have you surrounded.You wouldn't disagree with a dictionary, now, would you?
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I guess in the days of Onan, the levirate marriage was the only possible means of providing care for the widow and orphans, and therefore desirable. The survival of the tribe depended on keeping birthrate up, so coitus interruptus was justifiably condemned.
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Note to HYLA -- Speaking of the P-- and the M--, If, as you read the book, you had any doubt as to who was the Professor and who was the Madman, a later chapter removed ALL DOUBT! One of those guys knew what his problem was, and through SELF-HELP!???, he undertook successfully to "cure" what ailed him. OUCHHHHHHHH! emoticon. BTW, Mark Twain undoubtedly would not stomach such talk in any of HIS books. I'll not say any more on the subject because I do not want to offend my friend, Jackie, (unless, of course, Jackie condones further exploration of the topic purely in the interest of philological research.)
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Boy, do some threads grow quickly. I suggest you all get a grip on yourselves! 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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"sideburns and ample bugger's grips"There are a number of similar phrases all referring to appendages purportedly (careful how I spelt that emoticon) useful to obtain a firm grip. "Buggers handles" often refers to the fleshy folds by the kidneys which afford a good grip if large enough. I have heard the phrase also used to refer to sideburns. Neither phrase is used in polite society but might be used with colleagues. However the phrase "Bugger Lugs" to mean large (and hence presumably graspable) ears, is used more commonly and in wider society. Also used to refer to someone with big or protruding ears (e.g. Prince Charles aka "WingNut"). Not particularly friendly, as it is designed to mock. Could be used in a soccer crowd to the linesman as in "Oy BuggerLugs! That were our throw-in, not theirs!" Rod
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Since the conversation has already sunk this low, a couple of comments. A few days ago I received a jokey quiz for men on matters sexual. Answer A was the romantic, Answer C the real man's answer. For example: Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is: A: The best part of the experience B: The second best part of the experience C: 100 bucks extra. Anyway the last question is apropos the specific subject Onanism(Don't look Jackie): A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate: A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy. B. Is uptight and a waste of time. C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place. Moving swiftly on, many years ago when the word "wank" was unknown in the US, a colleague of mine moved to the States and formed a soccer team known as the Westchester Wankers. And no, apparently the team didn't know what it meant either. I think he told them it was some technical soccer term (like dribbling?  ). But I also agree that it is a very flexible term and is used quite frequently in UK. Rod
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Dear CK: are you suggesting a gangbang? For shame!
Linear Accelerator radiation treatment for prostatic CA disqualified me six years ago.
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This was a case of deliberate premature ejaculation, not masturbation.
Or was it a case of withdrawal-- a form of birthcontrol (albeit a not very effective one), ie, malthusiamism?
Wasn't it the Shakers who disappeared because they eschewed intercourse? They probably never heard of Malthus!
There is a small community south of Portland, Oregon called Wanker's Corners. When the power goes out there, they fire up their generators made by the Onan Corporation! Yes, there really is such a company!
Now, to quote the Biblical Onan, "Oh! Oh! I'm coming!" Onan ejaculated.
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well, since you folks are on this subject anyhow, can someone tell me the etymology of ipsism?
was there someone, mythological or otherwise, named Ipsis?
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Ipse is an emphatic adjective in Latin and means amongst other things "the very" or "the ____ itself".
Bingley
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Bill protests: Dear CK: are you suggesting a gangbang? For shame!
I don't remember saying that you should get a grip on each other.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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can someone tell me the etymology of ipsism?
I had not heard this word, so googled it. In amongst the lists of other words for the practice (makes perfect) was the phrase "ménage à un" which caught my eye. [All sorts of other phrases rather than "caught my eye" sprang unbidden to my mind but were all too apt]
Rod
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Ipse is an emphatic adjective in Latin and means amongst other things "the very" or "the ____ itself".
someone recently coined the word 'ipsonym', naming the thing, itself.
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enthusiast
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"onani" certainly means wanking in japanese.
there's also the action:
why does gesturing an enthusiastic wank mean that the other person is crapping on?
and why SHOULDN'T jackie look?
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In reply to:
Why shouldn't Jackie look?
Please! Jackie is a southern lady. Ladies don't know anything about such things. The details of horsebreeding, who's laying up with whom around town, bastard relatives and exactly how they came to be begotten, and such like, yes, but not wanking.
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Ipse is an emphatic adjective in Latin Emphatic, or reflexive? I thunk it was the latter. Being a solipsistic wanker, I doubt that what you say on it will matter, since only I exist anyway! 
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ipse? Emphatic wanking? This could be the start of a whole new form of self-expression. On the bus, perhaps for REAL men and women. Would that be solipsism or exhibitionism? I'm coming to the conclusion that all wankers know Latin*. So if you want to learn a foreign language, be my guest! * Refer to the thread on logical propositions. Except in this case, it would be a failure to proposition, wouldn't it?
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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If you are a solipsist, then presumably all sexual activity, whoever you may think you are with, would have to be wanking.
Precisely!
There is a poem by Sharon Olds called "Sex Without Love" that seems to fit our discussion, but I can't copy and paste it here, being comeputer illiterate, so look it up yourselves.
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Geoff - Broooaawwwk-buc-buc-buc-buc-buc-broooaaaawwwwk. There has been an old poetry thread revived recently, maybe you could insert the poem in there. - Flogging the bishop - Choking the chicken ....etc.
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There has been an old poetry thread revived recently, maybe
you could insert the poem in there. Hey, we're talking about onanism, so I'm not likely to be inserting anything!
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The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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the person who resurrected this thread - and all the others
Persons, Kiwi; apparently two of them. Each operating under a newly-created name, but at least one of them being an identifiable old-timer. Details by PM, on request.
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CK, I'm glad to know you're still reading this board, even if only to watch the wankers!
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re:Persons, Kiwi; apparently two of them. Each operating under a newly-created name, but at least one of them being an identifiable old-timer. Details by PM, on request.
Teacher, Teacher, I know who started the fight!
Coach, I know who didn't show up for practice because he was on date, not cause he was really sick.
Mommy, Mommy, I know who spilled the milk!
Boss, I know who started the union drive!
Most of us know at least one holier than thou, brown nose, some one who is quick to point out all the faults in others, and talk about them. Aren't just generally unpleasant people to be around?
They were no fun on the play ground and no fun at work, and here where we come to have fun, there they are, ever so helpfully offering to sanctimoniously point out the faults of others. carefully teaching us points of law... about what is or isn't legal... cause they know.
good for you. you know. Details by PM which mean private messages, except of course, they are not private, because he has stated he feels free to publish the contents any time he wants, but mind you, messages he sends to you, are sent in confidence, and you should ever reprint them.
so no one was supposed to repeat, his threat to nuke the board Not content, he still is ever so helpfully going to name names... he did that before, mind you, not that he made an accusation.. no, he didn't accuse anyone.. he just lined up some alledged facts, and then attached names... and when it was pointed out his behavior was nasty and hurtful, he said he'd just wait for others opinions, and when others concurred, why it was a conspiracy against him. every one was picking on him. and did he ever apologies? NO
and now he starts again..
learn a new trick, boy, we've see this one.
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...I just don't feel the need to receive nasty PMs from keiva and I still want to receive PMs from people I like. The oldies but goodies? Consider them summer reruns .
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Tried your link, Sparteye and got .... "this page cannot be displayed."
Another aborted link-up. Sorta like my love life ! (Tee Hee tittering emoticon)
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Keep trying, wow. That's my motto. [tee hee too] The link worked fine for me.
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Consuelo, I'm unsure which link wow means. The link in sparteye's May 8 post worked fine for me, but the link in sparteye's May 13 post didn't. If I can find the latter elsewhere, I'll edit to provide it. Edit:: Sparteye and Geoff, is this the "Sex Without Love" poem you were talking about last year? http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/812.htmlPersonal sidebar: the link to http://www.northshore.net/homepages/hope/engOlds.html no longer works -- and if you follow the direction to try the homepage, http://www.northshore.net, you get a business located five minutes from my home, including a map.
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My board name is consuelo. Please refer to me as such in the future, if refer to me you must. I prefer that you don't.
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yes'm. Edited accordingly. aylepd.
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contemplate the seemingly infinite euphemisms for onanism ... How many can we list?http://www.sheloveshertoys.com/words/words.html#malemasturbationHey, there's a site for everything! One notes that this is immediately preceded by a substantially longer list of terms for the female equivalent.
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