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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773 |
I must begin with the caveat that anyone who has sufficient command of a second language to be able to work in it has my undying admiration. That said, reading translations can be a real hoot. I find that directions accompanying products made outside the US are a marvelous source of Adventures in Translation.
Here is one which came with a "Magic Egg," a toy shaped like a pellet which you put into water to make it expand into a shaped sponge. I believe that the particular one I had was shaped like the state of Michigan. Here are the directions:
MAGIC EGG
Put the thing inside the Magic Egg into a clear water. It will be expanded slowly. 1 - 3 hours, it will be expanded 20 times in the volume. 6 hours later, it will be expanded 48 times, and 24 hours later it will be expanded 100 times.
After taking Magic Egg out of the water, it will be shrinked slowly to the original size, for the repetition; it will be for observation and admiration of the swelling.
MADE IN TAIWAN
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
From a Toyota diesel engine fuel filter, part number 23303-64010: 1. When warning lamp is lightening, drain water by turning on cock and operating hand pump. 
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Straight English-- no translation-- nothing beats IBM--
"This Page has intentional been left blank" in the middle of an other wise blank page..
and I'll see if i can find an old directive from an IBM service manual about the care of computer mouse-- specifically on "The care and cleaning of Mouse balls." (or maybe Mr. BigBlue(RW) has a copy)
It makes you think computer geeks don't speak English as first language!
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609
addict
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addict
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609 |
New Scientist has a long running list of this type of instruction.
From the 31 March edition in Feedback (they sent me two, so one ended up on my desk but is is available online), a sign with "please adhere to the fenced off areas", some garden lights made of "rust resistant plastic", "This video is best viewed at room temperature", and "Each storage case automatically becomes portable when carried".
The instructions on cleaning Mouse Balls was not a real IBM personual though some very good mockups were made. However I offer this real gem from the manual for an ancient office system device.
INTERLINE SPACING X Y
Specifies the number of lines to space for each indexing operation of the printer and the number of lines to print per inch.
... tables of valid values for X are followed by:
Operand Y specifies the lines per inch
Y=5.5,6.0, 6.6 (select one) for nonrotated type styles
Y=8.57(do not select) for Data1 /Rotated type style
Line spacing for the Data1/Rotated type style is always 8.57 lpi but this value must not be specified. Specifying 5.5,6.0, or 6.6 defaults to 8.57, and specifying 8.57 results in an error.
As M. Soft Roy would say, this was induckted into my hall of fame.
Rod
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Yep, the so-called IBM mouse cleaning kit thingy was as apochryphal as Unisys' supposed Field Upgradeable Conversion Kit! Don't you wish, though? 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 544
addict
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addict
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 544 |
At a youth hostel in Vienna, I saw a wonderful example of this. The place had a nice little outdoor area, where the guests could hang out, but there were some rules to be followed (it was Austria, after all). Thus the sign by the door: "It is permitted to picnic in the pergola, but it is forbidden to grill in the garden."
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
Here's a list that some of y'all may have seen; it made the E-mail circuit not too long ago: http://www.quoteland.com/quotes/leisure/translations.htmlI'm particularly partial to "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor." -From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
The instructions on cleaning Mouse Balls was not a real IBM personual ....Trying to redeem yourself, eh, Rod? 
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
The instructions on cleaning Mouse Balls was not a real IBM personual ....
Trying to redeem yourself, eh, Rod?
Good eye, Anna! We girls have to stick together!
[harrumphing-at-an-unnamed-Britboy emoticon]
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609
addict
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addict
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609 |
as apochryphal as Unisys' supposed Field Upgradeable Conversion Kit!
but I believe it to be true that Wang wished to call it's customer support package "Wang Care" which caused UK smiles.
Rod
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