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#25779 04/04/01 01:45 AM
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This was in a list a friend sent me, and I thought we might have a bit of fun adding definitions:

"How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on."


#25780 04/04/01 01:07 PM
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How long a minute is depends on how good the book you're reading is.


#25781 04/04/01 01:23 PM
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How long a minute is depends upon whether you're the little old lady on the crossing or the driver at the red light.


#25782 04/04/01 02:18 PM
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How long a minute is depends upon whether ... you believe time exists or not. Some new physics people, whatchawawn.

Mr Einstein proposed a comparison that depended upon whether you were wooing a beautiful girl or at the dentist I believe.


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Hey, all you Board members who are lawyers ...active or inactive.

Isn't there a well known law case where the jury was swayed -- concerning a three-minute period that was in question as to guilt or innocence of the defendant -- when the prosecutor demonstrated to the jury just how long three minutes is by having the jury sit and wait while three minutes went by on the clock?
wow


#25784 04/04/01 03:09 PM
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I come up with 11,178,000 miles.


#25785 04/04/01 04:03 PM
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Dear Faldage: I looked up speed of light in encyclopedia, and got figure "about 186,000 miles/sec" . Multiplying that by 60 (sec/min) gave me 11,160,000. Where did the discrepancy come from?(What value did you have for speed of light?)


#25786 04/04/01 08:29 PM
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I started school in 1972, around the time NZ made the switch to metrics, and c was still given in imperial values, as 186,282 miles per second. Multiplying that by 60 gives 11,176,920, if that helps. The imperial value has a nice rhythm to it that is lacking in the prosaic metric approximation of 300,000 kilometres per second (closer to 299,727, akchully)


#25787 04/04/01 08:38 PM
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Does this make an ayleur (I ain't laughing)


#25788 04/04/01 10:01 PM
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And then there was the poor rooster-- purchaced by a new age radical, who went back to nature and had a farm.
He/she called up the Cooperative Extentions (a US gov agricultular service) and asked-- "how long should i leave my rooster with the chickens to insure good laying habits of the hens?"-- the clerk at the extention office needed to check, so he said "Just a minute"-- and the new age farmer said "thank you" and hung up!


#25789 04/05/01 01:04 AM
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How long a minute is depends upon how many knots and tangles are in your hair while you're trying to braid it.


#25790 04/05/01 09:07 AM
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But this can lead on to other unanswerable questions, and a fruitful discussion on the use and misuse of language. For instance:

How small is minute?

Linguistic fall-out:

1. Category error - using a pun to change the direction of the question. Philosophical implications: G E Moore's attack upon the logical argument for Hedonism - pleasure is desired, therefore it is desirable - showing that the first use of the root desire is descriptive (and even tautological, since the fact of pleasure and that of something being desirable are intextricably woven into the meaning of each other), whereas the second use is normative or prescriptive. And, as all the philosophers tell you, you cannot turn an is into an ought.

2. A minute would currently be defined not as a unit of time, but as 60 seconds. Max, I think, used that to equate it to a unit of distance, given the speed of light in vacuo as the standard. My understanding, however, is that it is not the distance travelled by light that is the standard, but the number of waves of a particular colour of light (emitted by a defined substance at a precise quantum state) that counts. Anyone here have more information on this one?

Whilst not wishing to roll around in the gutter again, I might suggest that the biggest discrepancies in definitions of a monute may well be in regard to two partners' perceptions of the length of time the sex took - by the classical joke format, a woman's minute would be a man's hour.

cheer

the sunshine warrior


#25791 04/05/01 10:22 AM
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category error...

Whoa! Could you try that again?[truly emoticon]

meter standard:frequency
How about it, Bridge?


#25792 04/05/01 11:29 AM
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category error...

Whoa! Could you try that again?[truly emoticon]

Try what?

Category error - term used by Kant when showing the fallaciousness of the Ontological Proof of the existence of God - confusing an imaginary thing with reality. Now commonly used to describe any error in a fallacious argument when the categories of the things being compared, or related to each other, are not the same. Hence, in hedonism (in one form of it at least - the one that G E Moore refuted), the words desired and desirable are in different categories - the former being descriptive the latter prescriptive.

OK?

cheer

the sunshine warrior

ps. I believe you may be right - unit of length defined by number of waves/frequency of light, whilst the second is defined by the distance travelled. Ah well...


#25793 04/05/01 05:15 PM
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How about it, Bridge?

i had intended on refraining from a gratuitous post, having nothing explicitly linguistic to offer, but since you asked...
i'd say the length of a minute depends on where you're standing. if you're in Quito, it's about 1.16161616 miles. on the north pole, it's equivalent to blink of an eye.

cheers
~b


#25794 04/05/01 05:41 PM
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I used 186,300 mps from a NASA site, but I would defer to MaxQ's figure. If it's got more significant figures it's more impressive*. My handy-dandy conversion to real units site wasn't working (Dang Russkies) so I left it in miles.

*People are 80% more likely to believe you if you quote numbers and 87.3% more likely if you quote more than two significant figures.


#25795 04/05/01 06:25 PM
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ps. I believe you may be right - unit of length defined by number of waves/frequency of light, whilst the second is defined by the distance travelled. Ah well...

Ah, Shanks! You clear the puddle, to muddy the pond--what a pleasure to trip on ripples left there--I will miss you while you are gone.

Cher sunshine warrior, be of good cheer! [wave] and [tear]


#25796 04/05/01 07:04 PM
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I read some time back that Ken Kesey (author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, among other things) took part in some of the early tests of LSD. One of the things that the doctors doing the testing wanted to find out was how the drug affected the drugged's sense of time. They would do it by asking the subject to sit quietly, and then announce whenhe/she thought a minute had elapsed.

Well, Kesey knew the rate of his pulse, so he'd put his hand on his wrist, sit quietly counting, and repeatedly say "Now" at exactly one minute. Good trick, that.


#25797 04/05/01 08:44 PM
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I used 186,300 mps from a NASA site, but I would defer to MaxQ's figure. If it's got more significant figures it's more impressive*. My handy-dandy conversion to real units site wasn't working (Dang Russkies) so I left it in miles.

Deferring to my figure, rotund as it is, would be extremely unwise, as I am almost omnascient. On the subject of conversion between measurement systems, I have placed an excellent little free conversion app. into my IE favorites folder, so that it is always visible when I'm surfing. The app. is called UnitConverter, and is in AWADabilia for any who want to take a look.

*People are 80% more likely to believe you if you quote numbers and 87.3% more likely if you quote more than two significant figures.
And 42% of all statistics are made up on the spot.


#25798 04/05/01 08:51 PM
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"And 42% of all statistics are made up on the spot. "

And statistics has been defined as the art of lying with numbers.




#25799 04/05/01 10:25 PM
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And 42% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Now, why am I suspicious of that number - 42?



The idiot also known as Capfka ...
#25800 04/05/01 10:28 PM
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And 42% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Now, why am I suspicious of that number - 42?


Sorry, typo. It was rather brillig when I typed that, and I was distracted by trying to make my borogroves slightly less mimsy.


#25801 04/06/01 02:28 PM
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Now, why am I suspicious of that number - 42?

Sorry, typo. It was rather brillig when I typed that, and I was distracted by trying to make my borogroves slightly less mimsy.

Then shouldn't the number have been, "one two one two" ?



#25802 04/06/01 02:43 PM
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As you note, "minute" may be an elastic term. My father once remarked that the shortest possible interval of time was that between the point where the traffic light turns green and when the s.o.b. behind you blows his horn.


#25803 04/06/01 03:24 PM
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Speaking of category errors, a minute is, of course, not a unit of length. A minute is sixty ohm-farads.


#25804 04/06/01 03:36 PM
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My dictionary says a minute is:
1 the sixtieth part of any of certain units



#25805 04/06/01 06:13 PM
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It is most certainly the sixtieth part of a 3.6 kilohm-farad. Perhaps we can define the DrBill (pronunced derble) as equaling 3.6 kilohm-farads.


#25806 04/06/01 08:35 PM
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Perhaps we can define the DrBill (pronunced derble) as equaling 3.6 kilohm-farads.

In that case, Faldage, may I have a DrBill of your time?






#25807 04/06/01 08:58 PM
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"a 3.6 kilohm-farad"

I used to know a bit of electronics, but have no recollection of this unit. I know what an ohm is, and what a farad is, but can't figure out what an kilohm-farad is.

And I think it improbable that even a few board members can.

far[ad 7far4ad#, 3!d8
n.
5after Michael FARADAY6 a unit of capacitance, equal to the amount that permits the storing of one coulomb of charge for each volt of applied potential

ohm 7bm8
n.
5after G. S. Ohm (1789-1854), Ger physicist6 the practical mks unit of electrical resistance, equal to the resistance of a circuit in which an electromotive force of one volt maintains a current of one ampere
ohm$ic
adj.
Since the unit "farad" is not the complete name of the scientist, is it truly an eponym? or a "de-tailed" word?

#25808 04/07/01 12:06 PM
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Could it be a relative of faradiddle? Or a farant?
Or is someone zinging us with an alternate current?
wow


#25809 04/07/01 12:40 PM
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My dictionary says a minute is: 1 the sixtieth part of any of certain units

What does it call the first 59? And anyway, Bill, I happen to know that the sixtieth part of a minute is only the second.


#25810 04/07/01 02:03 PM
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Dear IP: 59 seconds are one second less than a minute, if my math is correct.


#25811 04/07/01 02:55 PM
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, I happen to know that the sixtieth part of a minute is only the second.

But, but--how can it be the sixtieth AND the second?
Good one!



#25812 04/07/01 06:52 PM
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" I happen to know that the sixtieth part of a minute is only the second "

Dear Jackie: I suspect IP meant not "the" but "one".

Or were you just teasing him?


#25813 04/09/01 01:08 PM
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And one ain't the onliest number
'cause it's second to none.


#25814 04/09/01 07:30 PM
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When you were a little kid, did you ever notice the difference between you and your parents' definitions of a minute?


#25815 04/09/01 08:59 PM
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3.6 kilohm-farads is an *hour. A minute is 60 ohm-farads.


#25816 04/27/01 01:14 AM
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entomologically, it is minute... like an insect...
numismatically tho, and in the larger cents, it is 360 degrees...
but the perimeter, you'll find, is infinitely long - if you're an ant on a walk...

"It's not about winning... It's about having fun!" Spongebob Squarepants

#25817 04/27/01 09:52 AM
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The length of a minute depends on what universe I'm in. Incidently, my Spanish teacher's daughter works on spongebob squarepants (or so she says.)

jimthedog

#25818 04/27/01 11:50 AM
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...depends on what's caught in the zipper...



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#25819 04/27/01 03:27 PM
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"depends on what's caught in the zipper..."

A long time ago, a girlfriend's dad told me about an incident in the thirties when he went into a movie to kill time waiting for a meeting to start.
He was the first person to enter. The second was a fat man who unzipped his trousers because they were too tight when he sat down.
As the theatre began to fill up, a woman tried to pass in front of the fat man. He had to get up to let her past him, and as he did so, his trousers started to fall down. He tried to zip up, but got the rear of her skirt caught in the zipper. The woman, thinking he was assaulting her sexually, began to scream. It was a very long minute before an usher with a flashlight was able to solve the problem.


#25820 04/27/01 03:53 PM
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A story related to me by a receptionist:

A particularly pesky salesman was bothering her with magic tricks and things of that sort while waiting for the person he had come to see. Getting a little perturbed by my friends apparent reluctance to succumb to his obvious charms and her seeming insistence on doing real work he pressed harder and said, "This is going to blow your mind!" My friend replied, "This is going to blow your mind. Your fly is open." The salesman immediately fumbled for his fly, which *was open, and tried to zip it up. His shirt was poking out through the fly and got caught in the zipper. He never did quite recover and he never bothered my friend again.


#25821 04/27/01 06:39 PM
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got the rear of her skirt caught in the zipper.
shirt was poking out through the fly and got caught in the zipper.

Oh, yes--I remembered I'd read some time ago where an author was at that movie theater. 'Never Give a Sucker an
Even Break' was showing. The incident between the portly man and the lady gave him the germ of an idea, but he couldn't flesh it out until he had his own experience with the second phenomenon described above. And thus was the inauspicious beginnings of P.D.Q. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Fly".


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Long minutes:
Teenager: "I'll clean my room in a minute."
Nurse: "The doctor will be with you in a minute."
Boring person : "Have you got a minute?"
Doctor: "This will only hurt for a minute."
Short Minutes:
Mother: "Come here this minute, Charles Ignatius Jones." (It's using the three names that gets them.)
Then there are the minutes which change length depending on who is saying : "Be with you in a minute." or "Back in a minute." (gave up on PC for those two!)
wow



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"Back in a minute."

I like the signs on business establishments that say, "Back in 15 minutes" with no indication of when they were put up.


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"Back in 15 minutes"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
To indicate the max time you will have to wait?
To discourage opportunistic vandals and thieves?


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i remember my mum's wonderful story of teasing her little sister by telling her that time was also going metric: so there would be 10 hours in a day, 10 minutes in an hour and so on.
what i always wondered was, why 60 with time. why 60 seconds and 60 minutes? is it a natural division or did someone decide on that number?

i could be a cynic and say that a minute is the time it takes you to smoke 1/5 of a cigarette, or really enjoy the first hoppy mouthful of a beer.
or i could say that a minute is the only time we have real control over. a second can be too fast to take aything in. an hour tends to find you (sorry, me) asleep. but if you don't have an answer inside a minute, you don't have an answer. also, you need a minute to take in good or bad news.

and minutes to me mean train times: 10:57, 8:46, 9:08. i set my watch a minute ahead of time to fool myself - the cleverest thing a person ever thought of. but it works! i'm always on time at work - 11:10. 9:02, or 9:23!

but minutes are about love, as someone already said. seconds click by on the dashboard clock. who can act in a second?! you need a minute to take a hand, to marvel at its warmth or its coolth. and you need a minute to understand that kisses are measured by the time it takes for a curfew to pass, or the time it takes for a resolve to grow weak.

and finally, minutes are how we remember things. no one memory lasts a second or an hour. maybe because minutes are flexible, we can remember within them. or we have enough time to fabricate our excuses by using them. who wants the honesty of a second? the lugubriousness of an hour? minutes are the only period we can measure emotions by.

hope you're all well.




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minutes are the only period we can measure emotions by.
My Sweet William, how utterly lovely to have you here again! I think we had about 97 minutes...


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William, I've missed you and am glad you've returned. And I like your thinking: minutes aren't so minute, really. They're the flexible ones.


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In reply to:

what i always wondered was, why 60 with time. why 60 seconds and 60 minutes? is it a natural division or did someone decide on that number?


The answer seems to be the Babylonians were the first to divide the day into hours and minutes and they happened to count in base 60 instead of base 10 as we do. People recognised a nifty idea (so much easier than saying when the sun just touches that hill over there when seen from my front door) and took over the same way of doing it, just as the Greeks kept the Semitic arbitrary alphabetical order (which was discussed in another thread recently).

As for why the Bablyonians counted in base 60 (no, they were not aliens with 15 digits on their hands and feet), this is discussed at: http://www-groups.dcs.st-and.ac.uk/~history/HistTopics/Babylonian_numerals.html

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i set my watch a minute ahead of time

William, let me too say welcome back! Great and unexpected pleasure for the end of a long week.

I have a watch which doesn't show minutes. If something takes a few seconds it's not important enough to measure - if it takes longer it's too important to measure that closely.

..of course I am always late places...


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> If something takes a few seconds it's not important enough to measure - if it takes longer it's too important to measure that closely.

I like that sentiment. My watchband broke a few days ago, so I'm just winging it; it works surprisingly well.
One thing I've noticed is that I would have often looked at the time, even though there was nothing to really warrant it. I've never been much of a fan of time-keeping, indeed in school, a clock on the wall was more torture than anything else.


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I used to be crazy about wearing a watch - couldn't live without it. Then in university I noticed that I didn't really need to wear one, because there are clocks everywhere. So I just stopped, and I have been much more relaxed ever since! People who know how obssessive I can be about some things are generally suprised that I am now watch-less - it doesn't really match the rest of me.

I figure if it's not important enough for me to actively seek out a clock, then I don't really need to know the time. So I don't stress anymore about whether, for example, the bus is three minutes late. If you're not wearing a watch at the bus stop you can't tell! And how would knowing the time help you, anyway? The bus will come when it decides to come...


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thanks for the welcome back. quite undeserved of course.
bingley, what i could understand of the babylonians was fascinating. thanks.
wasn't this all happening about the time beer was invented?
could there be a connection?


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I have a watch which doesn't show minutes.

Bridget, is it analog or digital?


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Right on Bean!
I learned this when I accidently forgot my watch:
If you want to really relax on vacation... leave your watch at home.



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