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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
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>Why your pater should have chosen the ides of March for his annual warning (if warning it were, indeed!) is not immediatewly apparent.
I wondered if anyone would get it. His entire warning was: "Eschew Communism. Beware the ideas of Marx."
He was known as one who would grasp any opportunity to make a pun. What follows is one of which he was quite proud:
My friend Sam has lived in many places, at many times. Once he lived in classical Rome, where he kept a journal that proved just how odd the Romans were. According to this journal, all things reproductive were cherished, but most especially a certain elderberry, which was reputed to be the dwelling place of the gods. It was illegal, on pain of death, to pick or eat an elderberry, and all of the plants were the property of the republic.
Sam was on one of his jaunts when he saw a really pretty elderberry bush, and it suddenly dawned on him he could make a great deal of money if he transplanted the bush to a place where it could serve as a focal point of a religion. Within a year or so he was fabulously wealthy. But he feared the religious police so he retired from the priesthood, married, and gave the plant to his wife as a wedding present.
Weeks later there came a knock at the door, where Sam was soon held at spearpoint by the phalanx of Roman soldiers who waited without. Blustering, Sam said, "Have you come to worship my wife's elderberry plant?"
"No," replied the centurion, "we are here to seize her berry, not to praise it."
TEd
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
I wondered if anyone would get it. His entire warning was: "Eschew Communism. Beware the ideas of Marx."Which goes to prove I am utterly hopeles at making puns. My inability to decipher has also been proved.  wow
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Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
"Beware the ideas of Marx.", says TEd. And he is quite right, of course (well - certainly to the right of Marx) as the following anecdote will demonstrate.
Marx's friend, Freidrich Engels, was left a house in his uncle's will. He and Marx went to inspect and explore his new property.
On reaching the attics, Engels peered into the water tanks, gave a startled exclamation, put his arm into the water and withdrew two ancient fiddles. "Great Scott, Marx," he exclaimed, "Do you think they might be valuable?"
"No," replied his friend, "They are merely the violins inherited in the cistern."
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 427
addict
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addict
Joined: Jan 2001
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I would never dream of saying anything like this about any other thread, but would it be perhaps advisable for all of us to try and only post once on the birthday thread? I get the feeling that there might be numerous members posting to celebrate, and if many of these comments are met with the usual clever back-and-forth accompaniment, we might easily find ourselves with an unwieldy thread in our hands. My computer, for one, absolutely dislikes long threads, and lets me know every time  . Any thoughts on this? [lemme-know-if-I'm-overstepping-the-mark emoticon]
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Joined: Mar 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
AMEN Marianna!
I think it's possible; you'll note Jo (jmh) has managed to keep her Helpful Hints uncluttered by the back-and-forth to which you refer. Maybe we need a "Happy Birthday" thread and, alongside it, a "Post Your Witty Rejoinders Here" thread.
Anyone disagree?
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Joined: Mar 2000
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,004 |
Maybe we need a "Happy Birthday" thread and, alongside it, a "Post Your Witty Rejoinders Here" thread.
But aren't parties supposed to be about conversation?
Perhaps, if you are thinking of some kind of tribute to AWAD, with sententious port-soaked, gout-ridden blokes rising up and asking others to be 'upstanding' (a word I loath, abhor, disdain, hate etc in this use) whilst they pour forth orotund, rodomontade oratory, then certainly a "Tribute to AWAD on its Anniversary" thread with single postings per person would be wonderful (else imagine the horror of a succession of after-dinner speakers with the added 'thrill' of heckling!), but I'd suggest a 'Birthday party' thread as well so that we can indulge in our well-worn drunken chat-up lines, criticise the canapes (and our host's taste in curtains and carpets), and look around for unoccupied bedrooms or jacuzzis...
cheer
the sunshine ("Alas, my wife does understand me") warrior
ps. Yes, I'm back for a bit. Missed you...
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Joined: Mar 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
Welcome back, shanks!  I like your further refinement of our ideas. I vote for a gout-ridden blokes thread (which we've pretty much agreed on in your absence) and a second one for booze-bloated celebrants. Jo, are you taking notes here?? P.S. I've got dibs on the room with the waterbed
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
shanks!! by all that's wonderful!! Welcome back, dear soul - you have been greatly missed. Yes, a concurrent birthday party is a great idea - I never refuse an invitation (even if I slightly prefer Birnmigham to Southall!) We can all slip out, one by one, to the broadcasting room, where we can make our formal speeches, then use the opportunity to find out where the empty rooms and the jacuzzi are to be found. Just make sure there is a stool in the broadcast room for my gouty leg! 
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Joined: Mar 2000
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,004 |
This booze-bloated celebrant is prepared to stand up (or slump limply, rather) and be counted. Maybe I can beat Jo to being the first GMT-er to publish on the gout-ridden wonderthread. As for the waterbed - you can keep it, my friend - I have my eye on that little heated pool by the garden... cheer the sunshine warrior
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Joined: Aug 2000
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
P.S. I've got dibs on the room with the waterbed
Is there room for two? I promise to take my spurs off!`
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