|
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
|
OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
Dear Agony Aunt,
One of our cats, Samwise, has turned out to be a bibliophage. I caught him on the chair in the computer room gnawing at a corner of the AHD4. While I appreciate his interest in things lexical, I'm concerned. What's next? The Compact OED? What should I do?
Signed,
Ailuro/bibliophile
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
Dear cat/bookphreak,
Try weaning him off from word-books and onto something less filling; science-fiction, for example, has almost no calories -- if he develops a taste for it.
-auntie ron
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
Keep a very close eye on the letter box.
TEd
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,230
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,230 |
Give him a copy of the Da Vinci code. If he doesn't eat it, it shows he's a discrning booklover, if he does, he's rid the world of one more copy.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,624
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,624 |
Dear Aurilo,
Before you can determine the best course of action to reduce the damage caused by your litter-rate moggy, you will need to understand his motivation. Is it a particular letter of the alphabet that attracts him? Or is he, for instance, interested in all six-syllable words ending in -tion?
And ask yourself this: Is the AHD4 a suitable dictionary for any reasonable purpose, anyway? Would you not, for instance, be better to donate the AHD4 to Samwise as his plaything and invest in a better dictionary - say, the Pocket Oxford - instead?
As a last resort, I suggest you pick the AHD4, up hold it over Samwise and drop the fucking thing on the little bastard's head.
- Auntie Pfranzine
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,385
veteran
|
|
veteran
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,385 |
I caught him on the chair in the computer room gnawing at a corner of the AHD4. ... I'm concerned. What's next?Let him gnaw on Faldage. It will save Plutarch the trouble.  Just kidding. It's no trouble. [P.S. If he can't get satisfaction boning up on Faldage, Faldage needs to bone up on his own education. ]
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,385
veteran
|
|
veteran
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,385 |
Let him gnaw on FaldageOn second thought, maybe your cat has tired of Faldage. Perhaps he is seeking a higher education. If we observe a dramatic deterioration in the quality of Faldage's postings [which hardly seems possible*], we'll all know why. He has fallen into a catatonic stupor. * Some would say, but I would not be one of them. I believe Faldage has struck the perfect balance between erudition and imbecility. This is truly the highest expression of the comedic arts. It may appear off-handed or guiless, but that is the very measure of his genius. No-one appreciates this more than Plutarch. Truly. "Faldage and Plutarch", "Laurel and Hardy" for the AWAD generation
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
Dear Aunties, thank you for the imiginative ideas. Auntie Ronnette is on the right track, I think: wouldn't want Sam turning into a fat cat. We've got some old sci-fi mags around here somewhere. Curmudgeon Pfranzine must of course be taken with a grain of salt. Anyway, we already have the OED an sich; why would we want the Pocket? Maybe to carry around in the car. The paperback AHD4 is in the car, along with other emergency supplies. TEd, for once one of your puns was funny -- and appropriate.  Yes, I LLOL'd. And Max, unfortunately, we've sent along Mr Brown's opus to Juan.
|
|
|
|
Forums16
Topics13,913
Posts229,351
Members9,182
| |
Most Online3,341
Dec 9th, 2011
|
|
|
0 members (),
653
guests, and
1
robot. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
