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I need help. We have been staring at this clue since eight o'clock this morning and it has defeated me. Please help. Okay, here we go Tom Waits's preference was to resort to blotto- "oh no" to iffy brain removal (Neanderthal aftermath) 2,6,4,1,6,2,5,2,2,4,1,7,8 Due to the length of the clue it would be well complicated to explain which letters I've got so you are sleuthing blind I'm afraid. Hope at least one of you bods can help cos this is melting my tiny little mind. 
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Carpal Tunnel
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50!?
I'm sorry. Without some letters you ain' gettin' no help, no how!
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wimp  
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Carpal Tunnel
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This is a crossword clue??
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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a crossword clue?
A simple example would be rub up against water in a foreign office (6)
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Carpal Tunnel
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>A simple example would be rub up against water in a foreign office (6) Oh, Raymond, that was too easy - even I got it, in about 4 seconds! 
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Carpal Tunnel
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I said it was simple, Tommy.
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Carpal Tunnel
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I guess this is a game I've never played. and all the help and encouragement we're getting is so helpful and encouraging...
formerly known as etaoin...
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Carpal Tunnel
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Who is/was Tom Waits?
Bingley
Bingley
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stranger
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stranger
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This may help.
I'm terrible at crosswords, but a fan of Waits.
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -- Tom Waits
For Bingley,
Tom Waits is Tom Waits -- one of a kind. http://www.officialtomwaits.com/
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Carpal Tunnel
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Ah ha! the long string of numbers after was a reference to the number of letters in each word in the phrase. Ah ha! it was a phrase they were after. You go dave!
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Carpal Tunnel
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And we were expecting a cryptic clue.
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journeyman
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journeyman
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
I'd rather have a "devilish clue" to solve than not the devil of a clue to solve it.
[It a'int Waits, but who can Waits for him?]
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Carpal Tunnel
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This clue reminds me of the Brit criticism of USn crossword puzzles, that they're no fun because you either know the answer or you don't as opposed to the Brit clues that you have to work to figure out. Not that I agree with the criticsm, but.
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Carpal Tunnel
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it ain't a'int. (just 'cuz it was in the subject line!)
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journeyman
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journeyman
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it ain't a'int
Is there a proper way to spell a word which ain't proper?
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a proper way to spell a word
In this case, yes.
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Pooh-Bah
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As far as crossword clues go, that one is way beyond me, but at least I can tell you who Tom Waits is. He's a singer with a gruff voice who does deliciously weird and macabre songs. (My favorite is "God's Away on Business.") He's also appeared in a few movies, such as "Mystery Men," "Down By Law," and "The Cotton Club." http://makeashorterlink.com/?S107210A5
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journeyman
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journeyman
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Q. Is there a proper way to spell a word which ain't proper?
A. In this case "yes".
Reminds me of a venerable maxim:
"A cock always crows on his own dung hill."
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Carpal Tunnel
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There is nothing ungrammatical about the word ain't. There might be some usage issues, however.
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Carpal Tunnel
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As far as crossword clues go, that one is way beyond meI don't think it was a crossword, I believe it was a cryptic, though I've never really done many. and now I know why...
formerly known as etaoin...
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Carpal Tunnel
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believe it was a cryptic
That's what I thought, given the count of letters in the individual words. but I've never seen a cryptic that was either 50 spaces wide or divided answers up over many entries, a common enough technique for normal crossword puzzles. Besides, the clue is not cryptic, it's a simple statement of the answer. Well, maybe not all that simple, but still…
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Carpal Tunnel
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ah. shows to go ya'...
dody?
formerly known as etaoin...
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Carpal Tunnel
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Tom Waitts was also in Ironweed, which that phrase matches well with. Excellent movie, btw.
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yeah, it was a cryptic crossword, one of my favourite setters as well. I'm disappointed with the answer though, glad to have it but not what I expect from a cryptic crossword. In my view a cryptic clue should be possible to deduce using standardised ( even only to each setter) rules and without actually having to know the word or phrase. The thing I like about cryptic crosswords is that usually when you get a clue you absolutely know it is right because each part adds up to only one possible conclusion, as opposed to quick crosswords where several synonyms are often possible and you can tell which one is right by fitting them into the grid.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Many's the time I've gotten the answer to a cryptic clue and had to work to rationalize it.
So tell us, dody, was the puzzle really 50 spaces wide?
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So tell us, dody, was the puzzle really 50 spaces wide?
no it was a standard 16, the answer was split up over several lines.
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Pooh-Bah
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Am I stating the obvious, or has no-one else realised that this is an anagram of
to blotto- "oh no" to iffy brain removal (Neanderthal aftermath)
?
(the anagram indicator is the word "resort" !!)
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Carpal Tunnel
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anagram
Did I miscount or is there an extra "o" in the clue?
And an extra "t". So I guess the first "to" isn't part of the anagram. I take back all I said about it not being cryptic. It's ingenious.
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Pooh-Bah
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Just done a quick recheck - there are fifty alphabetic characters in the phrase, and when I checked before, they all corresponded with the Tom Wait quote. (All those letters writing all those letters to all those other letters! just think!) EDIT and what a marvellous clue. Same letters, in different order, saying (more or less) the same as the original phrase - I really admire people who can make anagrams which refer to the actual answer, as this one does.
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Pooh-Bah
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So I guess the first "to" isn't part of the anagram.
Depends what you are calling the "first 'to'"
the anagram phrase commences, "to blotto" and continues to, and includes, "aftermath."
If you have time and patience, copy it across to a word document, then type in Tom Wait's dictum, then cut and paste each letter from the original onto the line under it, in the correct order.
Or you can be like the constipated mathematician ... [evil]
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Carpal Tunnel
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Yeah, I tried writing them down and crossing off letters. I went cross-eyed.
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Pooh-Bah
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S'why it's called a crossword!
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i take it all back. i completely missed the anagram. i hope setter paul can forgive me.
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Carpal Tunnel
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...but I'm still not seeing the answer to "rub up against water in a foreign office".
- abrade-hoo won't do it
- can't get an obvious anagram of c-e-f-f-i-o
- envoy, embassy, legate, attache, mission don't fit
???
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Carpal Tunnel
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rub up against water
Would it help if I told you it was a down clue?
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Carpal Tunnel
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formerly known as etaoin...
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formerly known as etaoin...
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Carpal Tunnel
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never mind then. it's my <cross-out>day...</cross-out> month to be the idiot...
been listening to too much Manfred Mann, I guess...
formerly known as etaoin...
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??? You are not an idiot, Sweet Thing, nor was wofa slow because he didn't get it immediately. That was a weird one; I only got it accidentally, when I saw it in a list of words beginning with bur-.
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