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The fact that even Ockers think they speak English proves that there isn't one English anymore, if there ever was. I am on the lookout for good sites about no US/UK Englishes. I am especially hoping that some of my subcontinental kin can point me to links regarding Indian English, the biggest, yet lowest profile, English of them all. I want these sites to add to my collection of links, and look forward to being deluged with responses.
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Thanks, That Singlish site is exactly what I was after. I'll need some Ocker sites from you, when I make a start on the non-English section of my site.
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Joined: Oct 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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there is always http://www.engrish.com which catalogs (and mocks) the english found in many parts of japan (and a few other countries). its not scholarly, its funny.
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Joined: Sep 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Hev, that's a wonderful site - thanks! Auntie Travels to Edinburk
When I reach Scotland, I oreddy know this place is condemn.
First, they all cannot speak properly. The capital is called Edin-burk, but they all say it like, "Edinbrur."
(I think, ah, all that whiskey make them all "brur".)
Some more their accent is si beh teruk, I hear also lia'h boh kiew.
For example, I went to the tourist office and ask, "Where can I find man who don'ch wear pants?" and they replied, (or at least I heard) "Rrruurrr rurrr rurrr hae noo rrruuurrr."
I just cannot understand how comes Singapore also is last time belong Engrand, but we spik Engrish so much better.
http://www.talkingcock.com/html/article.php?sid=449
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Thanks, Helen. A little humour will not go astray, I shall add that fine link. Grazie mucho.
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Joined: Oct 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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mav did you see the 'emergency Trap' sign? (trap is a dutch word for stairs, its been covered here a few times) but 99% of the english speaking world wouldn't know it...
the posting on that site are very funny... it wonderfull to see english so miss handled. the best ones are the professional ones.. ANA airlines with a sign saying 'Enjoy your fright!'.
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Joined: Jan 2003
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Here's a bit of topical humor I came across long ago:
TENDJEWBERRYMUD
Its amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation......
Read aloud for best results. "Tendjewberrymud" Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this. This has been nominated for best email of 1999.
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.....
Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"
RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS:"San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes 'means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.
Yes,an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2002
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Very funny, then I realized that my French and Spanish must sound at least that bad. That means there are a lot of REALLY polite people out there not laughing at me (until after I leave) 
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Well, the good news is that, despite the best efforts of everybody here, I have managed to find one reasonable site related to Indian English. It's not quite what I'm after, but it's not bad either.
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addict
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Oh yeah, JH, that's good. I spent two years living in Asia, and I can hear that whole conversation! Thanks for the laugh... 
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I hadn't thought of Hinglish, maahey, but it would a nice complement to the Singlish link Hev gave me. The Hobson Jobson dictionary link was exactly what I was looking for. If you ever come across a paper (published online) that examines Indian English, I'll snag that too, but for now, your dictionary link, and the "Indian Literature in English" page will do nicely. Thanks again.
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Thanks to all who made suggestions, my page has hit the ton. The Englishes section now looks pretty good, even including Niw Englisc, and I found a couple of interesting text repositories as well. Again, fa'afetai to all who helped.
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