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#104817 - 09/30/04 04:28 PM TEd, where are you when we need you?
wofahulicodoc Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 08/06/01
Posts: 4976
Loc: Worcester, MA
He's supposed to come back with complaints about you two parroting each other, and literary agents robin the poor writers of their proper rewards, and complaining these are only mynah efforts after all, and then ducking responsibility for the whole thing. Owl long we gonna put up with it? Well, toucan play at that game.


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#104818 - 09/30/04 07:03 PM Re: TEd, where are you when we need you?
Zed Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/27/02
Posts: 2154
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
But then he'd either be crowing about his puns or sending us a bill for his efforts which would send me raven mad.


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#104819 - 10/09/04 06:41 PM Re: TEd, where are you when we need you?
Wordwind Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/30/01
Posts: 6296
Loc: Piedmont Region of Virginia, U...
Would that bill have to do with pecking orders?


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#104820 - 10/11/04 12:19 AM Re: TEd, where are you when we need you?
Zed Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/27/02
Posts: 2154
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Did it take a long time to think that one out or did you just wing it?


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#104821 - 10/13/04 04:26 AM Re: TEd, where are you when we need you?
Wordwind Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/30/01
Posts: 6296
Loc: Piedmont Region of Virginia, U...
On a wing and a prayer.

Ted's cock of the yard in this coop.


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#104822 - 10/31/04 05:10 PM Last Orders
GallantTed Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 11/07/01
Posts: 273
Loc: Ireland
Howye fokes

10 months has past since me last appeel fer a publisher fer me scribblens and stuff.

Well, since then loads have happened and ya'd never gess what? They're publishen a specal book called "Chicken Soop fer Teds" and I'm goen ta be the editer of it. No codden.

So there - the boot is on the other foot now fer sure.

I, meself is in the driven seet now fer once and I'll announce it now that I'm looken fer stories about Teddy Bears fer me book. Only good and wordy ones will be accepted. And none of yer dolly rubbish either.

So send in yer stories with a ten/twenty/hundrid doller(s) note(s) ta GallantTed Pub lishens, c/o Slashers Bar (and Grill).

And once again may I pint out - no time waisters please.

Be seein ya

GT


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#104823 - 04/07/05 03:22 PM Re: New furem
BraveLad Offline
newbie

Registered: 03/29/05
Posts: 31
Loc: California
Well Gallant Ted,

You adverted, “PS Fur cote fer sale. Apply within. No time waisters please.”

If your are selling a fur coat, then it will never by definition be thread bare, will it? Although for sooth a bear may be bare by consequence.

Is this a thread in which to bare it all? I hope not. But if baudy talk is involved, then you will find me in a techy mood if not a techy one!

Brave Lad

P.S. Are you a fan of the Katzenjammer Kids?



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#104824 - 04/07/05 04:04 PM Re: Euphemism
BraveLad Offline
newbie

Registered: 03/29/05
Posts: 31
Loc: California
Dear cestx,

I used to walk by a local art shop that featured changing displays by a variety of artists that always had a red neon sign in the window that spelled out 'ART.' I would remark to my mate that, "I don't know what I like, but I know art when I see it!" Sometimes taboo topics appear in veiled form. This can be quite erotic in effect. Why else would there be seven veils in the "Dance of the Seven Veils?"

What follows is not my effort, but a poem that a friend of a friend wrote to commemorate a social occasion. I found it oddly arousing. Since you are an expert on such matters can you tell me if it strikes you as an artfully disguised erotic poem? The format is not exactly the same as in the original due to the limitations on format in this forum. Poems sometimes strongly depend upon format for the full effect and this is one of that sort to some degree. Indentations for instance are lost here so I substituted dashes ('-') for what were spaces in the original.

When Bear Boils Beans For A Blessing
A Commemoration of the Lair Blessing

A twin, named Bear,
--sautéed onions and celery stalk
--simmered carrots and added garlic to the lot.
She sprinkled earth's green aromas,
--coaxed softening lentils,
--uncorked a litre and sedentary was not.

Guests arrived anticipating,
--merry and willing with naive bowls eager.
Her cherub face smiled in greeting,
--"Please step over the ants and then, dear guest, sign my register."
All could see the move-in neatly,
--the Magi especially agreed,
--this lair was Bear's and blessed it sweetly.

Time bubbled the savory slurry suggestive,
--wafting steamy tentacles to near-by nostrils,
--the lentil soup was finally done!
Heads lowered, and a fine grace was said,
Bowls filled again and, yet, again
--as every corner voiced a ubiquitous "yum,"
Guests soon viewed a bare-bottomed pot, asking,
--"into what now does my good bread sop?"

Perplexed were they,
--empty bowl, empty pot.
"Please pass the wine and let us talk."
And, talk they did with celebration and glee
--as the evening darkened
--the verbal veered
--a mystery grew
Was it Tongues, the Vin or Latin mit Jabberwocky?
A caution conceded
--for when Bear boils beans for a Blessing,
--the grape finds glass and bowl promising.
The gig is up,
the mystery answered:
--Bear's soup bares more than beans
--She Spikes The Pot!

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#104825 - 04/07/05 04:49 PM Re: New forum
BraveLad Offline
newbie

Registered: 03/29/05
Posts: 31
Loc: California
Dear Chief One,

What about those of us who would like to break into the public speaking vocation? I lost my fear of public utterance shortly after I ran for public office. Without going into the particulars, I found this context so engaging that I even scheduled a big training session on my birthday and didn't even notice that fact until later.

As for qualifications some people say I have a way with words. My take on this is that they have a way with me!

Expectantly,
BraveLad


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#104826 - 04/07/05 06:28 PM Re: New forum
BraveLad Offline
newbie

Registered: 03/29/05
Posts: 31
Loc: California
Dear Windy,

How do you think that we could achieve that great or little break? Where are all the eager consumers of our verbiage in its various modes for instance? And after they see all the tripe offered up herein why would they even venture to seek the services of any of these naive word children?

In some puzzlement,
BraveLad


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