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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
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a year later that plate had been moved onto a Mercedes.
Wonder who her lawyer was.
Something you want to tell us about Kieva?
Bumper sticker :
Don't make me come down there! - God
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 2,605 |
Bumper sticker: Don't make me come down there! - God
Around here, billboards display that phrase. A variant is: We need to talk. -- God
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 131
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Posts: 131 |
caradea, I'm afraid to ask about my reputation. We didn't go to college together, did we???????????? =)
Sparteye, as for UB Brand, as much as I would like to wipe excrement all over the twirp, I'm not sure that allowing him anywhere close to me would be worth it. He has to be just wormy!
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
Bumper sticker: Don't make me come down there! - GodAround here, billboards display that phrase. A variant is: We need to talk. -- GodThose are all over my former hometown of Atlanta. I learned somewhere that they're all paid for by one guy. I forget his name and where he's from. OK, so I'm vague. It's rough getting back into the rhythm here! 
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
The rookie was patrolling one day when he saw a Porsche going the other way, doing as Porsches are wont to do, about twice the speed limit. The cop did a u-turn and after catching the Porsche some miles down the road asked to see the male driver's operator's permit.
"Well, officer," replied the guy sheepishly, "I sort of don't have one."
The cop frowned, "Don't have one at all, or don't have it with you?"
"I guess I never bothered to get one."
"OK, let's see your vehicle registration."
The driver replied apologetically, "Actually, I don't have one. You see, this isn't really my car."
"OK, whose car is it?"
"Not sure. It was sitting there with the keys in it, just begging to be driven."
"OK," said the officer, "why don't we start by looking in the glove box and finding out who the owner is."
The guy shook his head. "Officer, you probably don't want to do that. There's a pistol in there."
The cop undid the flap on his Glock. "A gun? Is it yours?"
"Of course, officer, I didn't want it rattling around inside the car at the speeds I was doing."
"OK, hand me the keys, stay in the car, I'm calling for backup."
The shift sergeant arrived and walked up to the Porsche. "Gimme your driver's license."
The man complied.
"Now show me your registration."
The man again complied.
"This your car?"
"Of course, officer, look at the license and registration. They've both got the same name on them."
The sergeant was baffled. "Now just open the glove compartment real slow-like, OK?"
The man complied, revealing that it contained absolutely nothing.
"Now what is going on here?" asked the sergeant. "That cop over there told me you didn't have a license; you stole the car, and you had a gun."
"Oh, right," said the fellow, "and I suppose he told you I was speeding too!"
TEd
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Dear TEd: That's a good joke about the rookie cop. But the speeder's clever plan falls apart with one question from the sergeant. "Did the officer ask to see your license?" If the speeder says "No", the sergeant knows he is lying. If he says "Yes" the sergeant again knows he is lying.
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Joined: Jan 2001
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One speeder, upon being stopped by a cop, explained that he was "only trying to keep up with the other cars." When the officer pointed out that the road was empty, the man replied, "Yes, that's how far ahead of me they are!"
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Joined: Aug 2001
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stranger
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stranger
Joined: Aug 2001
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Or there is the cop who sat behind bushes all day waiting for someone to speed by. He finally caught a young man going exceptionally fast. He said to him, "Son, I've been waiting for you to come by all day!" To which the young man replied, "Well Officer, I got here as fast as I could!"
Back to bumper stickers, I like "WWSD -What would Scooby Doo!"
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Welcome aBoard, MaryP ! You're the second, maybe third chemist here that I know of (I'm not sure if Chemeng is one or not--welcome to you, too, though, Dear, by the way!). TED! Oh, how lovely to see posts from you again! Mmm, I love you, Sweetie! 
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 3,467 |
>I have just the brand name for that toilet paper:
Some years ago a friend of mine took a summer job as a clerk in a trading post on the Navajo Reservation. Soon after he began to work there an Indian man came in looking for toilet paper. Joe told him he had two types, Charmin and generic. The Indian asked what generic was.
"Well," replied Joe, "it's pretty much the same as the other stuff but it hasn't got fancy wrapping and you don't have to pay for any advertising, so it's a good deal cheaper than the Charmin." The Indian bought two rolls, but was back the next day.
"Something wrong?" asked Joe.
"You should call that stuff John Wayne toilet paper. It's rough and it's tough, and it don't take shit off of no Indians."
TEd
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