Y'allbonics

The Association of Southern Schools has decided
to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer
dollar pipeline through Washington designating
Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to
be taught in all Southern schools. The following are
excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary.

1.) HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
2.) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder
of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"
3.) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive
"to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my
pickup truck."
4.) JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida.
Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh
bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner."
5.) BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh.
Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes
went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
6.) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage:
"My brother from Jawjuh bardmy pickup truck,
and I ain't herd from him in munts."
7.) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage:
"Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
8.) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made
of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank
ah'll have a bare."
9.) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See
"Arkansas native." Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
10.) RANCH - (noun)- tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage:
"I thank I left my ranch in the back of that
pickup truck my brother
from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
11.) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts
all in my pickup truck."
12.) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change
the all in my pickup truck,
that thing's gonna catch far."
13.) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine
from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
14.) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise,
I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
15.) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
16.) FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
17.) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage:
"We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
18.) CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
Usage: "Just set that bare rat cheer".
19.) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ...
must be from some farn country."
20.) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

21.) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ARE!"
22.) BOB WAR* - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage:
"Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
23.) JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got
a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
24.) HAZE - a contraction. Usage:
"Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert.
He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
25.) SEED -(verb) - past tense of "to see".
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City".
26.) VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ...view?"
27.) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage:
"Them gubmint boysshore is ignert."
28.) AX - (verb) - to question or query.
Usage: "Ax me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."
29.) IZGOT - contraction (pronoun/verb) Like- I've (I have); I'd (I would)
Usage: "Izgot to buy me somma them thar new shoes." Plural Usage: "Izgots it"
30.) YEWNS - (pronoun) - similar to y'all (Texas pronoun) or yawl (Okie pronoun)
Usage: "Ar yewns goin to town wiff me. Iffn you ar, gettn that thar pickup truck rat now.
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*Note to farners (from yer post-er): here, war rhymes with far.
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EDIT: I rec'd word that something in the original post made the screen go wide. It wasn't for me,
so I had to go back and shorten the lines by guesswork. HTH.