Well Whitty I ain't backing down. A few years back I was known as the best Alabama Ditch Wrestler in Blount County.
Ditch Wrestling, if you don't know, is a gentleman's sport and it ain't dishonest and dirty like Low Texas Pool or Hogwash. The rules are simple; as many as wants, good ole boys get into a smoothe red clay ditch and wrestle. The last one still in the ditch before sundown is the winner. I was always the last man in the ditch. Why if I, by mistake, lived in Minnesota, they would of made me governor.
But I don't like to brag, besides my ditch wrestling days are behind me. Today I indulge in intellectual pursuits. Hey tswum, wanna jump in an intellectual ditch and see who climbs out? Be warned I can name the captials of all fifty states except Alaska and Hawiai and I can spell better than you think.
Naw, forget my big talk. Truth is I'm a bit lonely down here with no one to talk with everyday but Andy, Hazzard, and Jimmy Jay, and I wanted a real honest-to-god wise-cracking yankee to talk with from time to time to keep me sharp when I have to go to Atlanta and trade. I hope my smart mouth will be forgiven by yall 'cause from now on I'm gonna sit back and just behave.
