Some of these are repeats, but, what the heck:

T - SHIRT SAYINGS

1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a
cigarette. (I don't like this one, since I'm an anti-smoking fanatic!)
2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute
of it.
3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on
Me!
4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to
kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out
alive.
7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk
to me.
8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9) Earth.... is the insane asylum for the universe.
10) I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
14) I want to die in my sleep, like my
grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the
passengers in his car.
15) God must love stupid people; He made so many of
them.
16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get
you.
18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
19) Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
20) Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
21) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
22) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With
A------s!
23) "That's It! I'm Calling Nana!" (seen on an 8-year
old)
24) "Wrinkled.... Was Not One of the Things I Wanted
to Be When I Grew Up"
25) "Procrastinate..... Now"
26) "Rehab..... Is for Quitters"
27) "My Dog.... Can Lick Anyone"
28) "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want
Fries With That?"
29) "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (On a baby-size
shirt)
30) "Finally 21, and Legally Able to do every thing
I've been doing since I was 15"
31) "Arkansas: One Million People and 15 last names"
32) "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with
the software."
33) "I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN"
34) "A hangover is the wrath of grapes"
35) "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash
advance"
36) "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"
37) "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music"
38) "They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was
already taken"
39) "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless
dead"
40) "Time is fun when you're having flies"...Kermit
the Frog
41) "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have
nothing to go on."
42) "FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped
once."
43) "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN
GOSH"
44) "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a
lifetime commitment for a pig."
45) "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20
years."
46) "The trouble with life is there's no background
music."
47) "The original point and click interface was a
Smith & Wesson."
48) "MOP AND GLOW - The Floor Wax used by Three Mile
Island cleanup team."
49) "NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy,
why-the-heck-is-the-room spinning-medicine."
50) "My husband and I divorced over religious
differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.