My Dad and I share a slightly wacky sense of humour (just as well we don't often need it at the same time ) - and a frequent source of amusement has been found on instruction sheets on modern products. For example, I love the brusque independence of pill bottles which command you to
Line up the arrows and push off

And surely this is general wisdom which we ignore at our peril? -
Keep away from small children

What are the examples others have encountered?