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You can't definitively spell letters
Dave Allen tells this one. Working-class bloke walks into an interview, and the snooty interviewer asks him his name.
"Smif."
Interviewer gives him a dirty look, and says lingeringly, "How do you spell it?"
"S M I T H."
"Smith," the interviewer enunciates sourly, writing it down. "First name?"
"Arfur."
"How do you spell it?"
"A R T H U R."
"Arthur," the interviewer says very distinctly. "Age?"
"Fir'y-free."
"How do you spell it?"
"You don't spell it, it's a bleedin' number!"
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