With grateful thanks and acknowledgement to (in alphabetical order) Consuelo, dr. bill, Jackie, TEd, and the late poetess Carolyn Wells.

Twas the night before Christmas. In each awad house,
No ayleur is stirring. Each ‘puter and mouse,
Is held in expectant quiescence, with care,
In hopes that our St. Anu soon would be there.
We’d gathered together tonight to infuse a
Convivial spirit of pre-Wordpalooza,
When out in the yard there arose such a clatter
We sprang to the door to see what was the matter.
Dear lord! Our St. Garg’s in a terrible plight:
His server, o’er-laden, has broken down, quite.
Poor man! He had started in gladness and glee,
With linguistic consignments of presents for we.
Each glittering gift he’d prepared for our joys,
Was dumped on the ground ... all these shiny new toys!
But we lovers of awad, so giving and punctual,
Soon made his server completely re-functional.
More rapid than eagles our helping hands came,
And shouted and thanked all our seniors by name:
“Thanks, dr. bill, Maverick, wow, tsuwm, and Jackie!
Thanks to you, Faldage and Kiwi and Maxie!
Your assistance was such that I know I can’t lose,
So I offer one gift to each one of you. Choose!
Let each one assembled just mention with pleasure
The word-gift this year that you’d most dearly treasure.”
“You darling!” says Jackie, “I’d like this thick book:
The Sexual Exploits of Rupert C. Brooke.
“Why, Jackie!” cries Helen, “Let’s eschew the lewd.
I’d much rather chew on the subject of food.”
Says tsuwm, “Send me, Anu, some long words to fascinate:
Manustupration; dysgenics; deracinate;
Perissopedics; peruke; peregrinity;
And honorificabilitudinity.”
Faldage (reusing that rhyme with affinity),
Dryly says, “Give me exotic latinity;
And ‘lizabeth's so calipygous that she
Fully merits presenting her An-Ass-Trophy.”
Fair Dub-Dub says, “Anu, for me you have gotta buy
A bloat of cavorting obese hippopotami.”
If Lipton’s venereal spirit prevails,
Maverick is seeking a small gam of Wales.
“Given my slant,“ Connie grins, “on the lexicon,
What do you have as to fungi or Mexican?”
Smiles Max, “Can you get me a website to count on?”
While dr. bill mutters, “The Port’ble Curmudgeon.”
As Anu was writing these hankerings down,
We heard from behind us a “Snicker”ing sound.
It was bingley, with chocolate spread over his face,
“Please, more oceanea to fill my bookcase?”
Says Kiwi, “Please give me a moment or so
To consult with Ess-DoubleU-and-Em-Be-O...”
(“Ah, yes dear.”) “I’m ready. The gift that surpasses
For me is a set of obedience classes.”
WOW smiles. “Sir, the two things I greatly could use
Are a full-year subscription to Emerald Isle News,
And a book on Rules, Strategy, Tactics of Quidditch.”
“For me,” Keiva says, “Rosten’s New Joy of Yiddish.”
Two sports-fans pipe up: Sparteye says, “For my choice,
A listing of sports-names would make me rejoice.
And bel adds, “I’d look with the highest regard on
A website that I could find a hockey card-on.”
“Would you have,” asks young Jazzo, “a set of mnemonics
For all arcane argot of archi-tectonics?”
“As you know,” stales riposted, “I’ve rocks in my head,
So I say ‘plate-tectonics’ suffices instead.”
When Anu had solemnly written our the list,
He said, “Is that all? Is there any one missed?”
Well, yes,” said TEd Remington, “sir, if you please,
Dr. bill has presented most forms of disease
But my fellows and I think ‘twould greatly delight us
If you’d bring us acute case of ‘ap-pun-dicitis!”
Groans from the audience! “TEd, we beset you,
Pummel and flay you and tell you to get you
Off to a punnery or a refectory,
There to submit to complete ap-pun-dectomy!”
While we were engaging in good-natured banter,
St. Anu left all of our presents, instanter,
Leaving each one of us wholly enchanted;
Giving us each the fine fare we had wanted.
He sprang to his server, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But we heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a-wad-night!"