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#40200 09/25/01 04:47 PM
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Which is FAR more customer-friendly than what I would have said: Stick it in your ear....

TEd goes off whistling a Hoseanna

There once was a man from Nantucket



TEd
#40201 09/26/01 04:51 AM
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You know, I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole. Not that I personally HAVE a ten foot pole, mind you, but I still wouldn't touch it....yeeewItcould be contageous.


#40202 09/26/01 12:56 PM
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I keep an eleven foot pole around for just such cases.. i store it with my small round Tuit..
the Tuit helps keep me from procrastinating.. you know, it helps to bring you to the day when you get all those things done, the things you keep postponing till you could get around-to-it...


#40203 09/26/01 03:28 PM
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K
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Helen, there is a certain amount of risk you incur you misspell "tuit" as "toit". An unwitting reader could be misled by the latter spelling, by pronouncing it somewhat differently.


#40204 09/28/01 04:47 PM
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It's better to suck a sour cherry than carry an empty envelope on your back.


#40205 09/28/01 10:14 PM
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Twice naught is plenty.


#40206 09/28/01 11:00 PM
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A bird in the thyme saves nine.


#40207 10/01/01 04:13 PM
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The speedy spider spins a long thread but throws a short shadow.


#40208 10/02/01 01:50 AM
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Falling stars give grape moments.
Edit: eep, didn't realize this would be the 100th.
Next post-er start the new thread, please, if you wish. I'm not inclined to--there may not be any more after this, and besides, I've seen my name quite enough.



#40209 10/02/01 10:38 AM
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What is the meaning of fumigate/fumigation?

Dear Mr. Maverick, Please excuse me for deviating from the intellectual investigation of ersatz maxims, but it was within this continuum that I got mad at belMarduk, and besides, I don't know how to initiate a new subject on this board so please let me explain...

Some days ago, in response to an answer I gave to a question he asked, belMarduk saw fit to make a tasteless remark about a "little bitty fig leaf". Well Sir, here in Alabama , you might make fun of one's pick up truck but you don't belittle one's hickee-do-gee, so naturally I got mad.

With a vengeance my mouse clicked on "reply" and soon after there appeared on my computer screen an essay of cuss words so vile that a Screen Guild Rating would be XXXX, that is, suitable for viewing only by the devil, his entourage, and his immediate family.

In a rage my mouse raced to the "send" switch, but before it could click, the screen went blank and the soulless and disembodied voice that endears us all to America Online said "Good-bye" and my masterpiece of vindication was lost forever.

I began retyping but stopped. I became cool and reflective. Wait a minute...this post I was writing would not only be read by belMarduk, but by his peers and betters as well. Heck! I was just beginning to enjoy the smart wit of Kieve and the gang. Maybe I would tone it down a tad. Hey, even better, I would compose a post so artfully crafted that belMarduk, nor anyone else in the entire world, would know that belMarduk was being insulted. I began typing.

It was well past midnight when I finished. I was pleased with myself. My redirected anger had become a one page work of art. It was with an air of bemused arrogance that I punched the Spellcheck. Ha! Just as I thought, only a few mistakes. Then, only God knows why, I punched the X in the right upper corner of the screen and the screen went blank. I screamed and then went to bed.

Days pasted. Then one morning I was sitting in my office with nothing to do. I looked around and saw nothing to read. Maybe, I was thinking, I would rewrite the letter to belMarduk..."Ah, fumigate, fumigation" I said. Now why did I say that, I thought to myself. Then out of boredom and with random I opened the dictionary on my desk. Then a deep throated gong reverbraterd throughout the room. In the upper righthand corner of the page of the dictionary that I had opened, in bold letters, was the word FUMIGATE.

Maybe some of you wordsmiths can explain the real meaning of the word "fumigate" but until you do I will take it as an illustration of a maxim that I have found to be true for most of my life, which is...WORDS HAVE NO ULTIMATE MEANING, WORDS ONLY HAVE FUNCTION.

Milum



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