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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
OK, y'all riddlers asked for it: -How many sociologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Twelve, enough to form a committee to write a working paper on "Coping with the Dark"-How many sopranos does it take? One to hold it and the rest of us to revolve around her.-How many WASPs? (I can ask this because I pretty much am one, when I'm not being an ASp ![](/board/images/icons/laugh.gif) ) Two: one to call the electrician and the other to mix the martinis.As a member of the de facto gutter police I'd like to keep this thread away from the original joke *as *well *as non-offensive in general (yeah, right, road to hell paved with good intentions, etc usw but once one of you miscreants begins the descent I'll gleefully join in) Have at!
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but the bulb has really got to want to change ...
How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
100 - one to hold the bulb and 99 to turn da house!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
OK, CapK. You're the big California expert now, having been through there and taken the subway and everthang, but.
A) It's not How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
2) It's How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
And the answer is
Þ) Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055 |
How many roadies does it take to change a light bulb?
One, two ! One, two ! One, two !
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 163
member
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member
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 163 |
- How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - We don't. That's a hardware problem.
- How many programmers does it take to wall-paper a room? - Twelve, but you have to slice them thinly.
- How many technical writers does it take to screw in a light-bulb? - Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094 |
It's How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
No no no, it only takes one to screw it in, but it's not like he can use it. There's no power left to turn it on!
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
I have never seen a time and motion study on Californians screwing in lightbulbs. But millions of them screwed up the whole power system by thinking that 8 cents a kwh was a fair price. I never paid less than 12 cents per kwh in the East, and can't figure out how the Californians thought that they were entitled to pay only 8 cents.
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jul 2000
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Ok, here's a website that has more lightbulb jokes that you can imagine. I think they cover all the bases, here are a couple pertinent examples: Q: How many lexicographers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it and one to protest that he should have changed it to "light bulb".
Q: How many merkins does it take to replace a light-bulb? A: One, if you screw 'em in tight enough.
Q: How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 1 to complain that the lightbulb isn't working, 5 to hold a meeting to decide what to do about it, 20 to form an expedition to the fabled Lightbulb Mines of Mythrill, 30 to throw a going-away party, 1 to ask Gandalf for directions, 1 to sell into slavery when the directions aren't stuck to, and they end up in entirely the wrong part of the country, and ready cash runs low, 5 get lost through natural wastage (bandits, murderers, monsters, etc,) 1 to be thrown to the Dragon that guards the Lightbulb hoarde, 1 to be thrown to the dragon to cover the retreat, 2 to carry the box of lightbulbs, 5 to find a large, sword-wielding barbarian to escort them home with the lightbulbs, another 30 to throw a safe-return party, 5 to get rid of the barbarian, who in typical style, got drunk at the party, 5 to find an Elf in the neighbourhood tall enough to change the lightbulb, one elf, and 5 to compose ballads of derring-do, heroism, sacrifice and lightbulbs. A grand total of 118. http://www.laughnet.net/archive/jokes/lightbul.htm
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
" How many merkins does it take to replace a light-bulb?"
I have heard of blond pubic wigs, but never one sufficiently fluorescent to light up a room.
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 508
addict
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addict
Joined: Mar 2001
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Ok, here's a website that has more lightbulb jokes that you can imagineI'm speechless at the amount of time, energy and brain ![](/board/images/icons/crazy.gif) power invested in lightbulb jokes! Don't know whether it's evidence of colossal creativity or having waaaay too much time on your hands. (That's generalized "you," Jazz, not you personally ![](/board/images/icons/wink.gif) .)
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